Clip-on bow tie
Might be easier to get ready, but can’t be undone later. Get a proper bow tie, roll with all the initial jokes about your crappy knot, and when you undo it half-way through the night, women will flock to your side.
Mismatched tie and waistcoat
A waistcoat should be approximately the same colour as your bow tie (though rugger pundit Mickey Skinner has carved a career out of being exempt from this).
Unless the bride’s mum wants your usher’s outfit to match her flower arrangements, be very careful with a coloured, embroidered waistcoat. A fussy design will leave you looking like a cushion. If you really dig them then pick a shade that plays safe and keep it buttoned bar the last one.
The fussy lapel is overkill next to this waistcoat. If you’re hiring a tux don’t rush in and grab the first one they give you. We can’t say this enough – a well-fitting suit does wonders for your physique. Even if the trousers are itchy.
Always think: “What would Bond do?” Not wear these, certainly, or Bart Simpson socks. A tuxedo is not a place to express your individuality/sense of humour. It is to get laid in.
If you don’t have a smart watch, don’t stay sporty. Go without.
If you’re wearing a tux jacket, don’t think you can get away without wearing tuxedo trousers (the ones with the satin stripe down the side).
Shoes maketh the man. Smart ones make women believe you have money and sex (think what stilettos do to you). To top off a formal eveningwear outfit, pick a slick shoe without a Mister Men sole. Shoving on your work clogs is unforgivable.