Steven Gerrard and eight other close shaves

Posted by , 31 July 2009

Chris Brown

Who’s the lucky fella? American recording artist and actor Chris Brown. But given that his career is now over, you can just call him ‘that prick who hit Rihanna’.

What did he do? Judging by the bruises on both sides of the R&B beauty’s face, Brown landed a flurry of forehand and backhand hits during the alleged assault in February 2009. Reports have also mentioned bite marks on her arms, a bloody nose and signs of choking.

How the hell did he get away with that? He handed himself in and pleaded guilty to felony assault, and will likely receive five years probation and six months community service when he's sentenced on August 27. Basically, he’ll just have to dig flower beds and wash fire engines for a bit. And watch his fucking back.

Is he sorry? If you believe the blatantly scripted doe-eyed video, then yes. But what was he supposed to say? “I warned her, man. I warned her not to say ‘umbrella’ again. Bitch had it coming. BAM!"

 

More collections in Upgrade

Sign up to the newsletter

Enter your email address & receive our legendary emails!

Go

Terms & Conditions

Follow us

Single Girls

For online dating that will help you find a girl who’s spot on for you

Between: and

From:

Our latest members...

Meet babes who have signed up for some sex – and nothing complicated

Between: and

From:

Our latest members...

About FHM's Upgrade section

The latest style news and grooming features from FHM's fashion team. There's also entertainment reviews and stories on movies, music, travel and sport. Plus unmissable sex tips, relationships advice, and our girl-only Kama Sutra special.