Dear Angels,
What’s the etiquette with paying for dinner on a first date? I don’t mind, on principle, but I date quite a lot and it’s getting damn expensive. Isn’t it also a bit old-fashioned, given that most of these women often earn as much (or more) than me. Does it look like I’m paying in return for sex? What do you do?
Matt Baker, via e-mail
Angel Eleanor: Offering to pay on a first date is not like paying for sex. It says to us, “I am a man. I will build you things and get rid of spiders while you decorate cakes.” Not offering to pay or suggesting bill-splitting on a first date is unforgivable. If I was on a date with you and you got your wallet out I’d probably offer to go halves, unless you’ve spent all night talking about yourself. Perhaps that’s where you’re going wrong?
Angel Anna: Yup, it’s completely old-fashioned… but girls love it. Take it as a compliment. If I don’t like a guy, I will insist on paying half (I don’t want to feel indebted to him). If I do, I’ll let him pay. Technically, if you’ve asked a girl on a date, that’s an invitation and you’re then the host, which would apply whether your guest was male or female. Why not save time and money by taking dates for a cocktail after work? Sure, it’s a bit Cowell-esque, but that way you can be more selective about who you take out to dinner.