Dear Angels, I’m off on a mate’s stag night soon. They’ve arranged to go to a strip club. I don’t normally go to them, but have to this time as it’s ‘his night’. Only problem is, my girlfriend has hit the sodding roof; she reckons strip clubs are degrading, dodgy, etc, and doesn’t want me to go to it. Is she being unreasonable?
Angel Anna: You don’t sound like a idiot who normally frequents strip clubs, so she has nothing to worry about. Explain to her calmly – exactly as you did here – that you’re just going along with it. Even show her this letter. It shows you do care about her concerns.
Angel Eleanor: You sound unlikely to misbehave, so you need to convince her of this. Get her to think about how she would be with a male stripper. If that fails, take her to a strip club. She’ll meet lots of blokes like you who are uncomfortable with the experience.
Dear Angels, simple one – is internet dating still for complete psychos and desperate losers?
Angel Jen: Yes. Come on guys! What’s wrong with good old fashioned face-to-face hook-ups? The younger you are, the more unacceptable it is. Fair enough, get in touch with people you know on Facebook and meet up, but don’t hunt people down randomly, or prowl around on dating sites. It’s just weird. Go to the pub, drink and take it from there.
Angel Steph: I know so many couples who have met via internet dating that I’d say it is pretty normal. In the name of ‘research’ I registered on a well-known site and was pleasantly surprised by the quality of talent, both male and female. Internet dating allows you to select certain criteria, so you can meet someone with similar interests, check you get along and swap photos without dusting off your wallet.
Dear, Angels, why do a lot of girls not have sex on first dates? If you don’t like someone, fine, but if you like a bloke why not just go for it? Or are girls just more old fashioned?
AC, via e-mail
Angel Jen: Right, first things first: you guys are the ones that make us want to abstain. If a girl puts out on the first date, the guy tells all his mates and if it doesn’t work out between them, they try it on with her, too. You give us a bad reputation and your mates pester us for sex – both unpleasant. I’m sure there are girls who want to feel more comfortable with someone before they have sex, but for the rest, that’s the reason.
Angel Steph: You boys are more old fashioned than you admit. Sleep with a guy on the first date and we become too easy, and your natrual instinct goes, “Hmmm…I must be setting my sights too low, I wonder who else I can have.” Holding off on you creates an air of mystery and draws you boys in. Sure, if you’re both up for some quick and easy fun, bonk away, but remember, from a girl’s point of view, if there’s anything special about you she’ll want to tempt and tease you like a true goddess.
Dear Angels, how available for dates should I be? Is Saturday night a no-go (ie should I already be doing something so I don’t look like a saddo), or do women not care about a full and active social calendar?
The Mole, via e-mail
Angel Jen: Don’t be ridiculous. The fact that you’re thinking so much about how to appear cool is really uncool. Just be yourself. If you’re free, you’re free. If you’re busy, you’re busy. She’s not going to cancel because you accepted. I can’t stand it when guys try to be someone they’re not. I’d rather go out with the world’s biggest geek, so long as he was self-professed!
Angel Anna: How available you make yourself depends on how much you like her. It’s okay to play it a bit cool in the early stages. ‘Any day next week’ either says you have no friends or you’re super keen, while ‘next month’ will make her wonder why she’s bothering. ‘Next Thursday’ is a good suggestion. Then you can leave weekends until you know you like her.
Dear Angels, I’ve been seeing this girl for a couple of weeks and just recently she’s dropped the Xs off her texts. Why? Am I on the way out? Or am I over-reacting?
Angel Steph: Oh dear, in the world of text messaging, the all-important kiss can give a totally different perspective on a message. It may be nothing, but if you used to get kisses, either you’ve upset her already or you’re about to get the elbow. However, a bigger problem is that you’ve been seeing each other for a couple of weeks and your main method of communication is still texts. Perhaps that’s a sign about the future of the relationship.
Angel Eleanor: Are you male? This is the kind of over-analysis that men accuse women of. Yes, you are over-reacting and yes, you will be on the way out if you keep this up. Grow some testicles Mister, fast, before she saves your number under ‘Loser’.
Dear Angels, It’s high time I popped the big question to my lady. I reckon that old fashioned is best, so I plan on checking it’s okay with Pops, before whisking her off somewhere romantic and flexing the old knees. But what’s the score with the ring? Are engagement rings much of a muchness? How will I know if she’ll like what I’ve chosen? Or should we do this together?
Luke, Bethnal Green
Angel Eleanor: Etiquette dictates you fork out one to three month’s wages on the rock. Is your girl happy-go-lucky, surprise-loving and smiley, or a control-freak-diva-brat? If she’s the first option I’d buy her something. Talk to her friends, they will have had the ‘princess-cut-versus-solitaire’ chat (you probably didn’t understand that, but they’ll explain). And raid her jewellery box for a size guide.
Angel Anna: An engagement ring is a gift not a status symbol. Yes, I want something I can show off to my friends, but I’ll be even more proud if I can say that you chose it yourself. Ask a close female friend for advice and stick with a classic. In the unlikely event that she absolutely hates it, you can always swap it.