Why wait until a burlesque dance troupe comes to town to enjoy retro-sexual antics? Thanks to FHM and our panel of experts - dance teacher Fifi Bella-Fontaine of academy Pink Kiss, and scene stalwart Georgia Juett, you can recreate Weimar Germany in the comfort of your own home. Requires: one relatively willing partner.


La Perla Black Label's current selection puts an imaginative twist on the vintage burlesque feel. Purists will opt for Vollers corsets, a British company established in 1899 (vollers-corsets.com). Online burlesque boutiques include What Katie Did (whatkatiedid.com) and Modern Courtesan (themoderncourtesan.com); the former is better for fluffy girls, the latter for high-maintenance ones.

Setting the mood

”Lighting is important”, says Georgia. “Avoid overhead bulbs and go sultry with lamplight using a soft red bulb.”


”Jazz works better than old- fashioned musical hall tunes”, says Fifi. “You need something slow, don't be tempted by The Pussycat Dolls. A CD of old James Bond themes can work if that's all you've got.”


”Ostrich feather fans, boas, a cigarette holder and gloves to remove slowly are often used by artistes in their routines”, says Georgia. Bo's Tit Bits (bos-tit-bits.com) sell sparkly nipple tassles (politically correct name - 'pasties'), riding crops and masks. Red velvet drapes help take the audience away from the fact they're in a lounge.


”Chairs are great”, says Fifi. “You can do the 'Sharon Stone' where you give them a quick flash, and of course put a leg up on the chair to take the stockings off.”


”Stockings are essential”, continues Fifi. “Lots of rubbing them up and down plus finger wagging. Insert the thumb under the elastic at the top and ease it down. Hold on to the back of the chair, flick the leg back, reach behind and pull it off so it pings!”


A superlative performance deserves gratitude. What can you give her? “Diamonds of course”, says Georgia. Champagne is also appropriate.

The Routine

Strutt & Tease

The basic walk is like a catwalk strut, Fifi informs us. No slouching, back straight, bum out, head up confidently. It's all about tease - go slowly, relish the performance. It requires more concentration and sensuality than dancing naked around a pole.

'The Drop'

The dancer needs to interact with every item she takes off. The jacket for example - stroke the fabric like she's showing off the garment. Lick a finger and circle round the buttons like a nipple! Take it off with her back to the audience - let one shoulder fall loose, rotate the naked shoulder backwards, then flick it back on again. Do the same with the other side. Turn around and wag a finger at the audience as if to say 'not yet.¦'. When ready, show the back, strike a pose, take it off, hold it up and let it fall - that's called 'The Drop'.

Fifi teaches for pinkkiss.co.uk. Georgia is part of Gekko Entertainment