The Skill

First off, this is one that involves a fair degree of upper body strength, so is best not attempted if you’re a terminal weed, or if your girlfriend is of the same dimensions as Shrek. It’s also something of a collaborative effort, so is suited to ‘girlfriend-sex’ rather than ‘woman you just met in a taxi queue after you dropped your chips all over her-sex’.

Step 1
Kneel down with your legs bent underneath you. She gets on top and wraps herself around you, but only allows ‘shallow penetration’. Be careful not to blow stack instantly.

 

Step 2
She starts ‘making the moves’ – flexing and unflexing her pelvic floor muscles. When done correctly the sensation is of ‘fluttering’ on your helmet, hence the move’s name.

 

Step 3
Raise yourself up until balanced on one knee and one foot. Pick her up as she spreads her legs wider and leans back slightly. Thrust, collapse, pant “Sorry love, my back’s gone”.