As of tomorrow, your televisual life will amount to little more than watching grown men in shorts kick a spherical object around a patch of grass.
But before your eyes turn to total football mush, you’ve got time to see what happened when a bunch of wannabe journalists turned up at FHM Towers on their quest to win themselves a job in magazine publishing.
Having already been put through their paces at more!, Kerrang! and Closer magazines, the rookie journos on ITV2’s new hit show The Exclusives have to learn how to make a mag, the FHM way.
Hard-hitting interviews with key political figures and penetrating investigations into corrupt institutions… this was not.
Journalism, in action!
Instead, the rookies come face-to-face with some squealing pigs, and destroy their mouth glands in a chili taste-test. (No animals were harmed in the making of this programme. We can’t say the same for the aspiring young writers.)
Along the way, you, the lucky viewer get to see behind the scenes at the editorial offices here at FHM, and meet some of the lovely people who work their ill-formed arses off to make this the best mag on the whole God-darn planet.
Rookie Ellie pitches to Editor Joe Barnes (left) and Art Director Declan Fahy
Catch The Exclusives on ITV2 tonight (and every Thursday) at 9pm.