All this lovely weather has made us want to roll out the grill, gather some sexy friends and a metric ton of meat and beer. Ready yourself for the ultimate summer barbecue...
01 Beer pong (with good beer).
02 An old pair of jeans for rubbing your mitts.
Or doing this with...
03 A few medieval-looking utensils.
14-piece barbecue tool set, £59, John Lewis.
04 Life-changing dogs.
Everybody loves a hotdog - that's a simply scientific fact. But is your dog deluxe? "Chilli cheese dogs are next levels," enthuses resident FHM food columnist DJ BBQ. "You've got to treat your sausage like you treat your man junk. Don't blister it, don't burn it and definitely don't stab it."
We used smoked Butcher's Dog sausages from Turner & George, cooked long and slow on a medium-hot grill. Stick it in a toasted bun, slather the whole thing wtih chilli and cheese, and then add the secret weapon: super-hot horseradish.
The DJ's verdict? "Mind-blasting badness!" We assume that's a good thing.
05 Kitchen towel. A whole load of kitchen towel.
06 One grumpy vegetarian.
07 A totally tropical tasty treat.
A wicked way to round off any meat-heavy grill session. Cut the ends off the pineapple, then chop off the rest of the skin. Carve it into slices and sprinkle them with a bit of sugar. Chuck it on to a clean barbie for 30 seconds on each side and serve, scattered with mint and diced-up chilli. Sweet.
08 A noticeable lack of work chat.
09 The confidence that comes with knowing there's nothing that can't be grilled.
10 An apron for every occasion.
Darth Vader apron, £14.99, internetgiftstore.com
11 A salsa that's hotter than the sun.
If the sweltering temperature hasn't got your hot neighbour stripping down to her bikini, you'll need a scorching side that will. Reach for fleshy-but-juicy tomatoes, fresh coriander, a large red onion, and enough jalapeño peppers to get you tearing up and chop the lot, keeping it chunky.
Squirt over enough lime to tingle the sides of your tongue and season with cracked black pepper and sea salt. To really pimp it out, grill your toms and jalapeños over charcoal until they start splitting. It's heaven in a bowl.
12 Enough ice to sink the Titanic.
13 A steady hand for mustard squiggles.
14 Music that girls actually like.
We asked Maarten Hoogstrated from chart-topping dance act Bingo Players hot to put together a girl-friendly barbecue playlist:
"It's hard to describe what actually makes a record 'sunny' but I'd play a lot of old-school hip-hop, soul and funk. Remember too, that no one wants to hear three hours of songs they don't know, so switch back and forth from classics to some cool, more unknown records. Play the songs that girls can sexy-dance to! They tend to love the smooth vocal jams more than the guys, but one the girls get to dancing, guys follow no matter what.
If you want some new stuff try Banks, Aeroplane, Chris Malinchak, Kygo and Odesza while flipping burgers on the grill."
15 Friends who won't turn up with four cans of cheap lager and then drink all your delicious craft beer.
Compiled by Joe Mackertich
Photography by James Byrne