FHM spent 4 days in the fairylight-lit woods of Suffolk at Latitude Festival, the Swiss Army Knife of festivals.

You'd be hard pressed to find anywhere else in the country where you could lie by a river bank, pint in hand, watching multicoloured sheep bounce around while seriously sexy dancers in denim shorts perform a live version of Dirty Dancing.

But enough about that...here's what we learned:


01 You can go to a festival and listen to absolutely no music whatsoever.

Josh Widdicome

Of course, you've got your main stage and several other smaller music stages dotted around the site but Latitude also boasts a tent for comedy, poetry, literature, theatre and cabaret.

Want to see some dance? Head to the Waterfront Stage. Want to see someone hurling pillows around in the name of performance art on a giant bed? Pandora's Playground has got you covered.

FHM spent most of the time in the comedy tent, particularly enjoying the likes of Josh Widdicome, Dara Ó Briain, Rob Beckett and Joe Lycett. On one of the sunniest weekends we've had in ages, this proved to be an excellent tent for avoiding almighty sunburn.


02 Latitude is quite possibly the most middle class festival in the world.

Those are Dara's words, not ours. Although, we could certainly see his point. The literary and poetry tents were never at less than 75% capacity. There was an on-site supermarket, daily yoga classes and at least a dozen tents where you could align your chakras or have your horoscope read.

And there were constant long queues for the showers. Yes, people were showering.

Luckily, the vast majority's unrelenting desire for cleanliness also meant the toilets were never below a 'satisfactory' standard throughout the weekend.

03 You can live like a king out of a MINI.

MINI lent us their Clubvan Camper to try out over the weekend. It's a concept car designed for one person that features an extendable kitchenette with a propane stove and a proper single bed in place of a passenger seat.

Granted, you can't take anyone with you in said car but you can wave at them in their tent while you're fully stretched out and heating tinned ravioli at the same time.

04 In 2014, having no phone signal for 4 days can be a truly liberating experience.

We overheard many a festival-goer, live act and even staffer complain over the course of the weekend about the absolutely shite reception. FHM, on the other hand, embraced it.

Sure, we'd have been in a bit of trouble if we'd got separated and lost in the masses but, in a world where everyone's glued to their smartphones 80% of the time, getting to lob your iPhone in your glove compartment for the weekend gives you a real sense (no matter how slightly pathetic that sense might be) of freedom.

It also meant that far less people were Instagramming photos taken on their iPads. Huzzah!


05 The Allen family aren't afraid to laugh at themselves.

Lily Allen at Latitude Festival 2014 in a Two Door Cinema Club t-shirt

Lily Allen received a lot of Twitter hate when it was revealed that she'd be stepping in for headliners Two Door Cinema Club, following their last-minute cancellation. True to form, she took it all in her stride.

And with her dad also on the bill over the weekend, you can see where she gets it from.