Pick up this month's copy of FHM and you'll read all about the day we went to America to spend the day with the world's most famous adult entertainer, James Deen. In the meantime, here are a few things we learned from hanging out with the guy, on and off set.
DON'T USE THE "P" WORD
Not everyone who works in the adult entertainment industry is totally comfortable with the word "pornography". Which is understandable when you find out the root of the word is the Greek pornographos
, meaning "one who depicts prostitutes." No one likes being referred to as a prostitute.
JAMES DEEN WORKS HARD
Yes, he's quite a chilled out dude. And yes, he lives in a cool house with a few nice cars. But James Deen's life is hard. The guy works almost every day and hasn't had a proper holiday for about 10 years. His daily existence – from the outside – looked a bit like a stressful, shifting vortex of emails, bodily fluids and never-ending paperwork.
KITCHEN TOWEL IS YOUR FRIEND
It turns out the basic, necessary components of a porn set are: director; camera, sound equipment, actors, kitchen roll. Fornicating humans produce all sorts of substances so it pays to have something absorbent to hand. There's always some rogue blob that requires mopping up from a piece of furniture or wiping out of a lady's eye.
JAMES DEEN HAS GOOD TASTE IN STUFF
We are delighted to report that James Deen likes good stuff. By which we mean film, music, television and whatnot. Not only can the guy recite large chunks of The Simpsons
and Monty Python from memory, he's also got a CD collection that spans everything from Britpop (Elastica!) to endearingly shonky, late-90s nu-metal (Static-X!). Is he a geek? Perhaps. A geek that is constantly having sex with strikingly beautiful women.
JAMES DEEN IS HUNGRY
Maybe it's the result of a life spent thrusting and pumping under hot lights but the guy can eat. We witnessed him inhale an In-N-Out cheeseburger and fries in the same time it took us to unwrap our order. In fact, if ever you get bored of watching videos of James Deen making the dreams of various women come true, you can go onto YouTube and watch videos featuring him consuming foods. And you should! Because they're funny. Case in point: here's a clip of him ordering every item on a drive-thru menu:
Check out the May issue of FHM to read about our day with James Deen.
Words by Joe Mackertich.