Remember the last time that England played Maldova and they absolutely smashed them by winning 4–0? That was a good day.

The good news is that it means we’re pretty much a dead cert to win again tonight. The bad news is that because we absolutely destroyed them, the odds of us winning are pretty damn short, coming in at 1/12.

Meaning it’ll cost you more to bet than you’ll actually win. Which defeats the point in betting right?

Wrong.

We spoke with FHM betting expert Kevin Loman, Lincoln City goalkeeper David Preece and those clever chaps at William Hill to find out how to bet like a true hustler this weekend and take home the monies.

Here’s the FHM guide to football betting this weekend…

Find value elsewhere

As already mentioned, betting on England for a straight win is not worth the time it’ll take to reach the bookies. Instead try stacking bets.

The last time the teams met, England walked away with 4 goals, so the chance of hitting the back of the net more than once is quite likely.

Add in a prediction for the first goalscorer and you can boost those odds even more.

The FHM Bet:


England win 3-0 (5/1)
Lampard to be 1st goalscorer (6/1)


Winnings: A £1 bet on both will make you £11

Click here to place the bet.

Betting on England might be more likely to get you a win but if you want to win proper money you need to be calculating and think big.

We suggest avoiding the England game and putting on a cheeky accumulator bet with some other home nations.

The FHM Bet:


Wales to beat Macedonia 12/5
N. Ireland to beat Portugal 9/1
Rep of Ireland to beat Sweden 19/10
Scotland to beat Belgium 9/2


Winnings: The overall odds are 541/1 which is an easy £541 with a £1 bet.

The odds might not seem in your favour but that’s due to the increased amount of possible outcomes, when you break it down into it’s actually not bad at all.

Place your bet here.
 
Want to stretch your flutter across the whole weekend?

Here’s a treble of (not entirely unthinkable outsiders that’ll pay out at 314/1


Fri - Ecuador (6/1) vs Colombia
Sat - Morrocco (13/2) vs Ivory Coast
Sun - Namibia (5/1) vs Kenya


Winnings: A £1 bet will give you £314

Place your bet here.

Finally, here's a bet to have with your mates in the pub, from our football insider, David Preece, the chizled and gloriously bearded Lincoln City goalkeeper.

Picture by: Joe Giddens/EMPICS Sport

Preece says...

"The game is just a formality. I'd probably have a punt on Clive Tyldsley having a meltdown and giving in to the urge of shouting "WHAT THE F**K ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, TOWNSEND?" Just like the rest us.

Alternatively, a safer bet is to bank on Andy Townsend patronizingly telling us that the Moldovan keeper "looks nervy" whenever he elects to punch away a cross instead of catching it.

Post match, I actually also quite fancy a few quid on Gabriel Clarke fainting during the game interviews, as he looks as if he's not eaten a square meal since 2006."

Follow David Preece on Twitter and read his words here.

Fancy a flutter on the football this weekend? Head over to Wiliam Hill for the best odds.