What happens when you put two lady-lovin' pop stars in a house full of beautiful women and astronauts? Enrique Iglesias and Pitbull's I'm A Freak, 2014's most baffling music video so far. The song itself is one thing, but this video is entirely another. Come take a walk with us...

Here we have a typical example of the perils of modern technology and the dreaded FOMO. Get off your bloody phone, Enrique! You're missing everything!

Enrique Iglesias + Pitbull

There's this new thing out called 'twerking'. We're not sure what it is but apparently it's going to be MASSIVE.

Enrique Iglesias + Pitbull

Enrique Iglesias + Pitbull

Enrique Iglesias + Pitbull

Enrique Iglesias + Pitbull

Enrique is the master of seduction. After all, he's been going out with Anna Kournikova for the past 12 years. So when he busts out the classic move of bum sniffing, you better write that down.

Enrique Iglesias + Pitbull

"Sure, ladies. I'll let you wrap me up in streamers because you're all in your undies. Aaaaand now I can't see."

Enrique Iglesias + Pitbull

Because if there's one thing this party needs, it's more astronauts.

Enrique Iglesias + Pitbull

Enrique Iglesias + Pitbull

Enrique Iglesias + Pitbull

Enrique Iglesias + Pitbull

Those guys can part-ay.

Also, who is this woman?

Whoever she is, Enrique loves her outfit and... is that a bear? Who invited the bear?

Come to think of it, there are quite a few people we're outraged were invited to this pants party instead of us.

Like this graceful swan of a man.

This lucky bastard who wandered in on his way back from the bookies.

Oh, and Enrique's lesser-known, physicist twin brother.

And, of course, Pitbull.

But if we were invited, do you know where you'd find us?

That's right. In a bath, wearing a viking hat, surrounded by bubbles, money and leftover Christmas decorations in the company of a lovely lady and her sponge.

But we're not that bitter. Because this video also has some things that should be sexy but just aren't.

Like Iggy Azelea doing a shot with no hands (OK, it's not her).

Girls eating whipped cream off each other.

And a girl in a bikini... doing a sick? Really?

But on a slighter sexier note, who is this marvellous creature in a sombrero?

And where can we buy this massive cock?