OH EUROBALLS! WHY DID ENGLAND’S DREAM HAVE TO END LIKE THAT?

Put simply, because they weren’t good enough, but hey, that’s okay. Let’s try and look at the positives – Roy Hodgson had less than two months to get his head around the task he’d been charged with and we got to the last eight, unbeaten over 90 minutes. GOOD TIMES! 

Having said that, it’s obvious that playing with two flat banks of four and having a goalkeeper whose penalty-saving methods consist of pulling faces isn’t enough to get you crowned as champions of Europe. BAD TIMES!

Would Capello have got England any further? It’s doubtful. Plus we’d all be assuming that he’d thrown the game for his Italian mates, which would have made the fall-out even more unpleasant than it already is. WEIRD TIMES!

Overall, everyone involved seems to feel that it was okay even though it didn’t quite work out as well as they’d hoped. Captain Steven Gerrard faced the press earlier and shoulder-shrugged:

“At times the football hasn't been fantastic, we haven't blown people away. The possession stats speak for themselves. Moving forward as a nation we do need to improve with the ball."

Jesus – that’s a pile of earth-shattering understatements if ever we heard them.

SO, WERE WE BEATEN BY THE EVENTUAL EURO 2012 CHAMPIONS?

Highly unlikely. This is no vintage Italian team. Apart from Buffon, De Rossi and the phenomenal Pirlo, they’re pretty ordinary and Germany should have enough to crack them in the semi-final.

As well as that, there’s another match-fixing scandal brewing and their economy is fucked, so they’ll soon be living ten to a man inside industrial bins and entertaining themselves with charades and home-made crack instead of fine wines and Serie A.

Mind you though, Pirlo’s penalty, eh? Mmmm… sexy.

SO IF ITALY WON’T WIN IT, WHO WILL?

Germany are our tip, and we’ve genuinely got no idea who’ll make it to the final between Spain and Portugal. 

The Germans can be backed at 13/8 to win the thing with William Hill, joint favourites with Spain. Portugal and Italy are both priced at 11/2.

WHO’S PLAYING TONIGHT?

No one. Or tomorrow night. PANIC!!!

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