RIGHT, WHAT’S THE POST-MORTEM ON THE DRAW WITH FRANCE?

Like we said yesterday, a point gained against the French should be regarded as a very good result indeed. There was an element of desperate bus-parking from England, but for the majority of the match, it worked. While the French bossed the possession, England never really looked as though they were going to be overrun by Les Bleus.

Things weren’t so great at the other end of the pitch. While Welbeck worked hard and occasionally looked dangerous, Ashley Young looked a bit lost. We’re stating the obvious by saying there’s a HUGE Rooney-shaped hole in the team, but if England can get through Friday’s Sweden match unbeaten, qualification for the quarter-finals could well be within their grasp.

BUT CAN ENGLAND BEAT THE SWEDES?

If England play a similarly measured game as last night, we don’t see why not, although the Swedes will need to go for the win if they want to stay in the tournament. Keeping Ibrahimovic quiet while being more clinical in the final third is England’s passport to points.

WASN’T THERE SOMETHING ELSE MISSING LAST NIGHT, APART FROM ROONEY?

You’re probably thinking of the murderously annoying England brass band, who are as welcome a sight in a stadium as Madonna’s right tit, and had their horrendous instruments confiscated by right-thinking officials in the Donbass Arena. 

The band’s official Facebook page is threatening a complaint to UEFA, but has been shouted down in spectacular style. Replies include:

“This is the best thing to happen so far in the tournament.”

“An embarrassment… hope they blow your trumpet up.”

“Hope the Ukrainians banish the band to a gulag, the massive atmosphere vacuums.”

“Jog on, twats.”

There’s nothing else we can add to that really.

ANY NOTABLE TRANSFER RUMOURS DOING THE ROUNDS?

Chelsea are believed to be readying a £50 million bid for the major striking star of the tournament so far – a young Ukrainian called Andrei Shevchenko. Possibly. Not really. 

WHAT’S ON TODAY?

We’ve got the second round of games from Group A – Poland are up against Russia on what is ‘Russia Day’ (no, us neither). The special occasion has fuelled fears that Russian fans might march en masse to the stadium with a very real chance that it might ‘kick the fuck off’. We’re backing a Russia win with an Arshavin goal at an attractive 8/1 with William Hill.

Before that, Greece need to avoid crushing the dreams of their already-depressed fans even more by beating the Czech Republic. It seems unlikely, but you can get 10/1 on them pulling it off AND Giorgios Samaras getting among the goals. Perhaps the Greek government can pile whatever cash they’ve got left on that one in a spectacular shit-or-bust gesture…

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