ONE DAY TO GO, ONE MATCH LEFT TO PLAY. IT’S ALMOST OVER ISN’T IT EUROBALLS?
Sadly, yes, it is. And what have we got left to look forward to? Why it’s only a match that we’ve ALREADY HAD. Does that make it more or less exciting? We’ve got no idea. The thought of the whole thing being over tomorrow night is sending us half-barmy with sorrow.
IS IT GOING TO BE ANY GOOD?
Honest answer? Probably not. Spain and Italy have already played each other once and know everything there is to know about each other. If Spain play with their strikerless ‘false nine’ formation again, we’ll probably be pining for goalscoring chances. We think they will, in an attempt to nullify Pirlo and the other, lesser Italian midfielders
It also depends on which Mario Balotelli turns up. If it’s the one who destroyed the Germans, it could be game on. If it’s the one who enjoys daydreaming about being a psycho war robot and kicking opponents in the head, it could make a major difference.
WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON IN EUROLAND?
UEFA chief Michel Platini is pretty much done with this tournament and is looking to the future – 2020 to be precise. Rather than have one host nation, the crazy Frenchman wants the thing to be played across a whole range of nations – as many as twelve.
To be honest, it’d be easier to play Euro 2020 on the Moon, but Platini insists that it’s a genuine idea. When quizzed about how fans would be expected to afford to be able to zoom around the continent to watch their team, he replied: “There are low-cost airlines these days.”
Watch out Sepp Blatter – there’s a younger, crazier maniac with his eyes on your hot seat…
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