The US is currently undergoing plunging temperatures with the coldest winter storms in over 20 years, due to a mammoth Polar Vortex bursting in from the Arctic.

Here’s everything you need to know and how it could affect us here in Blighty…

Firstly, what the holy shitballs is it?

Starting off in the arctic, a Polar Vortex is basically a massive, bollock-shatteringly cold hurricane. It’s an icy and angry-as-hell cyclone that generally spins itself into a fury over the Tundra until it breaks up.

This then propels freezing gales for miles and miles, which then dissipate. Generally, the furthest they’ll float is Canada, but at the moment they’ve gone as far as the US. Which is pretty fricking terrifying.

How bad can it actually be? Surely it’s just cold, right?


Yup, it’s just cold. And by just cold, we mean cold that feels like sticking your arm in a thousand needles and then waving it in front of a hungry shark. The temperatures are currently hitting -60 Fahrenheit (-51 Celsius) and could drop lower than -70 Fahrenheit.

This is so cold that exposed skin can get frostbite within minutes, meaning you should definitely rethink before you jokingly get pissed and ‘write your name in the snow’.

Sounds pretty grim. At least we’re safe over here in the UK…

Yes and no. If you live on the mainland you’re probably not going to get hit by it too much at all, other than it being colder than a starey Anne Robinson, but if you live on the coast, expect mahooosive waves and carnage.

Like icey dominoes, the Polar Vortex has created a huge winter storm, dubbed Hercules because it’s gigantic, and it's causing a ripple of Perfect Storm-style, 30ft waves that are currently hitting Cornwall and Dorset.

So what can you do?

Not a lot really. Sure, you could test out your new Christmas jumper and brave it, but it’s probably not really worth it. Your best bet is to batten down the hatches and stay home from work to finish off all of that mulled wine you’ve got left over and get amazing at Call of Duty.

Now warm your cockles and look on the bright side with this amazingly sexy GIF of Ashley Sky being stupendously sexy.


 


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