Yup, cricket’s greatest comp is underway, meaning there’s a glorious month-and-a-half of leather on willow, Aussie baiting, and copious alcoholic benevolence ahead.

Follow FHM’s six Ashes drinking rules to really get the party started…


TWO FINGERS OF BEER WHEN… 

In an interview, an Aussie player begins with the phrase, “Ah, look, mate…”, or Alistair Cook uses the phrase “executing our game plan.” 

ONE SHOT OF VODKA WHEN… 

Someone appeals against an umpire’s decision to loud booing from the crowd. 

TWO SHOTS OF SAMBUCA WHEN…

England’s Steven Finn once again clumsily knocks off a bail with his leg while bowling.

ONE WARM LITRE OF CIDER WHEN…

You see a piss-farted England fan with a chronic sunburn vest.

 DRINK EVERYTHING IN SIGHT WHEN…

Commentator Ian Botham refers to the Aussies as convicts.