Stand still and bow your heads while we hand out today’s special awards…
BRONZE MEDAL FOR… THE REDISTRIBUTION OF WEALTH
Britain has bagged another medal, with the equestrian team picking up the silver in the eventing, lifting us up to 20th in the medals table as we write this.
Best of all, Zara Phillips was presented with her medal by her own mother, Princess Anne. What better for a nation crippled by economic hardship than the sight of a member of the royal family handing over a chunk of precious metal to another member of the royal family. Hurrah!
SILVER MEDAL FOR… ‘TEENAGERS, EH?’
It’s hard being a youngster. If you’re Tom Daley, you have to contend with the death of your father (who was also your coach and mentor) while preparing for the Olympic Games. Missing out on a medal only makes things tougher.
Likewise, If you’re an angry 17-year-old who tweets under the name @Rileyy_69, you’re probably not feeling too good about yourself after tweeting a load of abuse at Daley, having thousands of other Tweeters turn on you, and then find yourself getting arrested. Still, he’s got almost 50,000 followers now, so it’s a win of sorts isn’t it?
Meaniwhile, the fall out from the world record swim by China’s 16-year-old miracle girl Yi Shiwen is still rumbling on, with her father saying that: “The western media has always been arrogant, and suspicious of Chinese people.” Only the ones that captured and tortured Jack Bauer in series seven of ‘24’ mate.
GOLD MEDAL FOR… WORDS AND NAMES IN THE OLYMPICS THAT RHYME
Ding Ning just won in the ping pong.
TWITTER’S FAVOURITE OLYMPIC BITS…
‘The Central Line being on fire.’ (@getcallaghan)
‘GB handball keeper's unsurpassable uselessness. May as well have been swigging from a can and smoking a fag.’ (@JLSinc)
‘NZ women’s hockey team’ (@DarrenWHU)
‘Someone called Bum won the judo’ (@powellds)
‘The American bird smashing her minge on the beam.’ (@Ferrrgle)
Please see below the links to the A510 on acer.co.uk and our Facebook page.