The comedian recently revealed he'll be running for London Mayor in 2020. Is he up to the job? We gave him the ultimate quiz to find out...
01 WHAT'S THE BIGGEST THING YOU'VE EVER SET ON FIRE?
I'm a big pyromaniac. I tried to blow up this old lady who lived in the building below. She was a bit of a cranky old lady. We just poured the nitroglycerin on the floor. We didn't quite know how to set it off. It wasn't actually nitroglycerin, it was just some sort of liquid. It's what you do when you're a kid.
02 HAVE YOU EVER RESCUED AN ANIMAL?
I rescued a cat when I was running around the UK. He was just on the side of the kerb. And I rescued a mouse from a car park but he didn't make it through the night. He was too freaked out.
03 HAVE YOU EVER WORN A TRILBY?
Yes, when I was at university. I thought I should wear trilbies and then I thought I shouldn't wear trilbies. And that was that.
04 HAVE YOU EVER KILLED AND EATEN SOMETHING OTHER THAN A FISH?
No, but I have caught a fish and eaten it. It was a rock bass. I was fishing in Canada like Huckleberry Finn when I was nine. It's the only time I ever fished. We caught all these fish and threw them back, but there was one fish that was slightly bigger so we had it for tea. I didn't even eat fish at the time.
05 HAVE YOU EVER HAD A SPECTACULARLY SUCCESSFUL SESSION OF DIY?
I could be great, but I just don't do it myself. There's nothing I have to do myself. There's nothing I'm trying to get done up. I'd like to make furniture. I think I could do that. But I'm not making furniture, so that's it. I've got all these inventions in my head that I haven't done yet.
06 HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT, HOWEVER BRIEFLY, THAT YOU MIGHT BE JESUS?
No. My show Force Majeure is about being your own force of nature, so I think we're all our own energy sources. We can all make things happen. Sometimes you just have to do that because the situations aren't working for you. I encourage everyone to be their own force of nature. I think Jesus was a real guy, I just don't think he was the son of God. He was just a bloke.
07 HAVE YOU EVER SUCCESSFULY STARED SOMEONE OUT?
Going around wearing make-up and heels does cause people to stare. I've done adequate staring, but not up to a fight situation. Teenagers go bezerko. They huddle and whisper and giggle. There's this thing I started doing. When they stare, the trick is to go over and stand next to them. Then they can't whisper and giggle so much. They have to move over and you just go over there. It's an interesting thing. It's almost like reverse herding.
08 DO YOU OWN ANY COLOURED JEANS?
I have blue jeans – that's a colour. But no wild and crazy colours, you'll be surprised to hear. It's blues and blacks for me really.
You scored more than half, which isn't bad for a guy with better nails than our sister (and she works in a salon and everything). If only they didn't get in the way of you putting up the odd shelf...
Pick up Force Majeure on DVD now.