We’ll put our hands up in the air and admit that, for all our hopes and prayers, it doesn’t look good does it? But it’s not over yet.
England CAN still do it, it’s just going to be a little tough. Here’s how Roy Hodgson’s lions can stay in the competition and make up for a slow start…
Start supporting the Italians
This is essential. At the moment, the only way that England can possibly stand a chance of getting through the group stages is if Italy win both of their next games.
Starting with Costa Rica tonight and Uruguay next week – the Italians need to be on top form.
If Italy can win both games, ideally by several goals and a clean sheet, it puts them on top of the group and leverages some nice space for the crucial goal difference that’ll take England through.
England MUST beat Costa Rica
It’s imperative if they don’t want to be catching an early flight home, and not only that: We need goals.
England will be relying on a win with goal difference to take second place in the group. If we don’t win by at least two, ideally three, goals they’re going to be in a right bloody pickle.
Sounds simple then?
On paper, yes, but historically speaking there has never been a single team to qualify through the group stages after losing their opening two games.
Although this doesn’t mean it’s impossible, but…
England are also relying on Italy to give a shit
They need a massive sporting favour. If the Azzurri beat Costa Rica tonight, they’ve already secured their position in the next round and could quite happily take their foot off the pedal in their final game.
And then there's the ITV Curse
In the last 32 years, the squad have only ever won one World Cup group game when the game’s been screened on the channel. And that was back in 2006 Trinidad & Tobago with a 2-0 victory.
All in all it looks a little but grim but you’ve got to have hope…
Here’s an amazingly sassy GIF that’ll cheer you right up.