He's the quick-thinking, fast-talking face of Soccer Saturday and football punditry's most respected anchor.
And in this month's mag, FHM finally meets the man himself.
Grab your copy for the story of how one man went from being a steelworker's son from Hartlepool to being voted Sky's Broadcaster of the Year five times in a row.
You'll also read his World Cup predictions, his thoughts on matching fixing and about that time he got sent off for punching a player. What? Yep.
Here's 4 more reasons why he's our absolute hero.
01 He gets so into the game that he forgets he's on live telly.
02 He'll be damned if anyone has a bad word to say about this hometown.
03 He reminds us of our dads at Christmas.
04 And he has the sheer, cosmic power to pull 1.6 million people in to a YouTube video of him talking about a headbutt.
You see, Jeff Stelling doesn't need touch-screen super computers or swooshing graphics. His football knowledge mind-palace, ability to control the likes of Paul Merson and Matt Le Tissier and plethora of puns make him the saviour of Saturday football.
And we got to hear it all first-hand on the set of the Carlsberg Fan Squad World Cup advert, which is now available to watch below.
Also starring the likes of Paddy 'No Likey, No Lighty' McGuinness and Ian Wright, it celebrates what's great about football and makes us really want someone to turn this into a real pub:
The Carlsberg Fan Squad's next mission is to take 1,000 England fans to Wembley in October for the Ultimate England Experience. You can enter by picking up a promotional pack in stores or clicking here.
Want to see what else is in the mag this month? Have a read.