How else could you explain greasy Frenchman, David Guetta scoring such a hot wife? Forget men in uniform, these days, it’s the guys behind the decks that are bi-winning. We tagged along to Super Scratch Sunday, a gathering of East London’s finest new DJ talent, to figure out why they’re lady-kryptonite, what’s with the super-hero aliases and exactly how easy it would be to blag our way in with, like, NO skills.
We were allowed to pose at a real-life gig on the promise that we didn't touch ANYTHING…
JIMMY (CAMBIAN) BULLIMORE
One of the founding members of Super Scratch Sundays let us into his flat one weekend to listen in and take photos of his friends - nice guy.
Jimmy, what the flip does ‘Cambian’ mean?
Well, I’m from Cambridge, so when I moved to London, some people called me that and it stuck. We thought it was because it was Spanish for 'change' - wrong.
So how would a pleb like us get in on the DJ scene? We don’t own ANY records.
You don’t need lots of vinyl anymore, it’s mostly mp3s but you do need quite a lot of equipment to get going, it’s not the easiest hobby to get into.
Eurgh, fine. What kind of females can we expect to throw themselves at us if we DO get into it?
Most of them are brought along by boyfriends, but some girls actually like the music.
Isn’t it just wreckheads that like drum and bass?
Yeah some of them are wreckheads.
Mike isn’t a ‘scratch’ DJ, he just ‘mixes’ (we didn’t definitely know there was a difference). He also doesn’t have a special DJ alias as he think they’re “pretentious"... which disappointed us as that’s our favourite thing about DJs.
Micky, how did you get started?
I did a hip-hop show on Leeds student radio called ‘Needle to the Groove’ on Saturday nights and after uni, I bought some decks and found the Super Scratch guys on the internet.
So where do you play?
I’m kicking off a monthly thing in Tooting this weekend.
Can we come?
Errrr yeah, see you Saturday!
So what are you going to play for us?
I play to the girls in the room, so, the first girl to get up and dance, I’ll play for her - those kinds of girls always come up and ask for stuff anyway.
Rhianna it is then. Ever had anything thrown at you onstage?
No, but the last gig I did, I dressed up in shirt and tie for a mate’s Christmas party; the decks were set up behind the bar and loads of people tried to order drinks from me.
SI (SYMATIC) ATKINSON
Si has a proper DJ name he actually thought about, which we like.
It means movement of sound. I’m also known as ‘Biggy B Boy Beat Master B’…
Does your girlfriend insist on chaperoning you to all your gigs?
No, she’s sick of my gigs; she listens to different music.
You’ve been at it a long time then?
I started DJ’ing at a sort of campsite in the desert in Africa.
What, like a holiday camp?
Something for the UN, I was there for like 6 months.
What the hell? Whereabouts?
Errr, just on the border of Sudan.
So, how many girls are you beating off with a stick while you’re un-chaperoned at gigs?
If it’s a scratching gig then NONE; it depends on the night though, if it’s a drum and bass or a dub night, you get different kinds of people.
SI (DOOBAN) HARGREAVES
Si insisted on posing for his photo with intern Ashley’s dog. Up until then, he was our frontrunner for ‘most normal’ Super Scratcher.
So, Si, where should we be looking for new music?
Spotify, Soundcloud, I look around loads of blogs I find linked through friends’ pages. The DJ community link to each other a lot to help out and spread the word.
How can you tell crap DJs from the good ones?
Well, with scratching it’s obvious because it’s off time. You can just tell before they play if they’re posers, the kind of people who just do the job to look cool and then it’s a train wreck when they play.
What do you play then?
I prefer hip-hop because it’s a different style of mixing, you’ve got to be a bit more creative, it’s not just blending songs together.
And the best gig you’ve ever done?
Probably a house party I did with Jimmy (Cambian) last year. House parties are much more fun, they always tend to get a bit nuts and you can play whatever you want.