How to win at life with the best of FHMManFood

Posted by , 29 August 2013

Mel Clarke takes the FHM Hot Sauce Test

Mel Clarke takes the FHM Hot Sauce Test

  • #11

    End summer in style with these Blow-Out BBQ Ribs

  • Introduction
  • #09

    Cook a fish feast fit for a king

We asked asbestos-mouthed hotty and FHM girlfriend Mel Clarke to test the 6 hottest chilli sauces you need to try before you die, because quite frankly we were too terrified. And Mel also happens to look really hot when she's erm... hot...

 


Tabasco Pepper Sauce


 

First produced in 1868, Tabasco is the world’s most popular hot sauce. As many as 720,000 bottles clink out of the factory in a single day.  

Mel: “Woah, that’s really spicy! It’s got a nice taste, but the aftertaste is a bit like… BANG.”

Flame Rating: 2/5

 

 


Tapatio Hot Sauce


 

With its instantly recognisable ‘giant-hatted man’ logo, Tapatio has built itself a cult following on the West Coast of America.

Mel: “Wait for iiit… Oh. Huh. It’s not that hot – not as hot as Tabasco, anyway. It’s tasty, though – I’d eat that.”

Flame Rating: 1/5

 

 


Professor Payne Indeass’s Sphincter Shrinker


One of the weirder hot sauces out there, this has a distinctive curry twang with an undercurrent of apple sauce.  

 

Mel: “Eeep! That’s hot. Tastes a bit like curry powder... Not something I’d eat at home.” 

Flame Rating: 4/5

 

 


Satan’s Sweat Naga Chilli Sauce


 

The Naga chilli is in the Guinness World Records book as the absolute hottest dickhead wanker of a chilli on the planet.   

Mel: “Eeee! That’s just burning. Agghh! You couldn’t put that in actual food.” 

Flame Rating: 4/5

 

 


Blair’s Sudden Death Hot Sauce In A Coffin


 

Somewhat ominously, this comes in a cardboard coffin, with a skull key ring attached. Proper doomy.   

 

Mel: “BURNING. Ohhh... That is so hot. So, so, so hot. Gimme some milk.” 

Flame Rating: 4/5

 


Who Dares Burns! The 2nd assault


 

The even-hotter sequel to the UK’s best-selling ultra-hot sauce. Hot-Headz.com’s Stuart McAllister describes it as “just brutal, heat-wise”.  

Mel: “FUCKING HELL. I’m crying!”

Flame Rating: 5/5

Words: Joe Madden

Comment using Facebook

More collections in Entertainment

Sign up to the newsletter

Enter your email address & receive our legendary emails!

Go

Terms & Conditions

Latest in Entertainment

Follow us

FHM Single Girls Logo

JOIN NOW FOR FREE

First name

Date of birth

Woman in socks

Our latest members...

Woman in lingerie

Our latest members...

About FHM's Entertainment section

The latest film reviews, music reviews and video game reviews from FHM. Plus gadget news, cinema news, movie previews and celebrity interviews. We’re all about the entertainment.

Keep Reading...