(From left) Joe wears: T-shirt £50 by Polo Ralph Lauren, hooded knit £42 by Topman, grey cords £75 by All Saints, trainers £90 by Clae
They're David Cameron's worst nightmare. Five ASBO kids left with super-human powers after a freak electrical storm interrupts their community service.
Last season they could read minds, rewind time and provoke full-blown sexual arousal with a single touch. BUT NOT ANYMORE. They've got all new powers. What are they? We don't know. We've spent all week speculating but the best we've come up with is "maybe one of them can read really fast like Johnny 5" or "maybe one of them knows EXACTLY the best cracker to go with every type of cheese".
We're pretty sure those aren't right but we'll have to wait 'til Sunday to find out. In the meantime, we dressed the three main men in slick clothes and interviewed them (while constantly and futilely hinting about the whole new powers thing).
How did you guys like the shoot?
Nathan: I felt a bit weird ironing my chest to be honest with you. I only had a magazine underneath the shirt and the photographer kept going, “Higher, higher,” and I was like, “No mate, the magazine stops there, I stop there.” It was really hot.
Joe: We got given a load of clothes. It’s normally like Bullseye at photoshoots, they show you how cool you could look and then they take it all away at the end.
Nathan wears: jacket £1,199 by Paul Smith, shirt £77 by Humor, jeans £36 by Topman, skull ring £287 by Stephen Einhorn
What tattoos have you got?
J: I’ve got lots of them, they’re all memories really of people I’ve met in my life so when I’m an old man I can remember the people that put me in the position I’m in.
N: I got one when I was 15 and depending on how you look at it, it’s either a claw or a ship. I regretted it about a week after I did it. I remember going in there and they were all talking about driving and I was like, “What? ?I can’t drive I’m only 15,” and I literally felt the tattoo artist breathe in and go, “Oh God”. Luckily he didn’t stop though. Not a good experience, not a good tattoo. All-round failure.
What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done?
N: Maiming my own leg with a fork. There were actually four of us that did it, like the four prongs of the fork or whatever. We watched Jarhead a few nights before and we were like, “Let’s brand ourselves!” Then we drank loads and loads of whiskey. It was very weird smelling of burning skin and hair.
Iwan: Probably when I tried to surf down the central bit of the escalator at Angel tube station.
The longest one in Britain?
I: Yeah. I found that out afterwards. I couldn’t walk for three days.
(Left) Nathan wears: shirt £55 by Farah, glasses £199 by Oliver Peoples @ Askew Eyewear
(Right) Iwan wears: Tweed Harrington jacket £340 by Baracuta
If you could kill anyone with your superpowers who would it be, and most importantly, why?
I: That’s an awful question!
J: David Starkey. Not long ago I watched his interview and his open racism is fascinating. Yeah, I’d be able to make my hand into a spear and put it through his fucking head. I thought David Starkey was a proper gentleman who knew all about the Tudors but then it appears he’s actually a bit of a twit.
N: I wouldn’t kill David Starkey, I’d just shame him. Joe’s obsessed with David Starkey right now. If he dies tomorrow we’ll all know who did it.
Joe wears: shirt £70 by Lacoste L!ve, jeans £120 by Nudie Jeans, hat £75 by Jill Corbett, socks £7 by Burlington, bracelet £202 by Stephen Einhorn
If you were invisible, how would you know where your penis was when you went for a piss?
I: That’s a good point…
J: I don’t think I could give a fuck. I’d just go for it, just piss all over the seat.
N: Free piss! That’s a good idea!
Who gets the messiest when you all head out together?
N: At the moment it’s a toss up between Iwan and Lauren [who plays Kelly]. Iwan’s teaching me though. I’m learning, I’m probably third!
I: Bastards, I can’t believe you’d say that!
J: I love going out with these lot, it’s hilarious. But out of the bunch I’m probably the flakiest one. I’ll say I’ll go out and I’ll end up on my arse watching David Starkey on TV.
Joe wears: anorak £145 by YMC @ Urban Outfitters, shirt £110 by J.Lindeberg, cords £70 by Wrangler, desert boots £79 by Clarks Originals, hat £80 by CP Company, laces £1.80 from Theshoelace.co.uk
Who’s the best with girls?
N: Um… Iwan? But Joe’s a pretty good talker. We all have different modes I suppose. I’m stealth.
I: Nathan I reckon. I just think he’s the most beautiful man…
J: It’s a very common assumption that because we’re actors and people on telly that we’re all a massive bunch of shaggers. I’m certainly not, I’m fucking useless, I’m too busy making a dick of myself. We aren’t any different to anybody else. In fact Iwan’s pubes are out of control. I’ve trimmed mine too short and he’s got a fucking Bob Marley going on.
What’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever bought?
I: A guitar, it’s a Gibson. I paid a grand and a half for it.
J: Er, I bought a mountain bike that was £4,000. I get into fads. I think a lot of actors do this, they sort of believe they are something, then they realise that they’re actually pathetic and there’s a reason why they’re actors: ’cause they can’t do mannish shit like that. I got into climbing, wrangling dolphins… No, wait that’s bullshit, I didn’t do that.
Iwan wears: shirt £50 by Merc Clothing, jeans £30 by Uniqlo, boots £185 by Hunter, belt £13 by H&M, watch £44.50 by Swatch
Anything you look at and go, “For fuck’s sake, why did I wear that?”
I: No, everything in my wardrobe’s absolutely brilliant!
J: I remember wearing boxing shoes to college and they were massive white ones and even if you pulled your trousers down over them you still looked like a massive douche.
N: I had what I could only call a waffle jumper. It was fucking disgusting. You know the pattern on waffles? It was that pattern all over my jumper but I really loved it, and everyone ripped the shit out of me for wearing it.
If you had X-ray vision would you help out in the local hospital checking kids for broken bones? Or would you be a perve and stare through girls’ skirts?
J: Probably do a bit of both. It would be ingenuous of me to say I wasn’t going to try and stare at fannies the whole time ’cause they’re brilliant aren’t they? Lads love them. I’d spend a lot of time perving, but I’d try and find some time to help the kids, too.
N: You want to cover all bases don’t you? People have needs so you might look at girls, but you want to help people too so you’d do the hospital thing as well. But not at the same time. Oh God, not at the same time!
Season three of Misfits starts on E4 on Sunday