It’s over two months since a platoon of brave FHM staffers and readers tried to kick the smoking habit. We celebrated some initial success, but always knew that the real test would come further down the line - a line that runs wavily between cancerous doom and a clear-lunged skip through the fresh air of spring.
We're now at the end of that line, and here's the final score:
Lucy, a moderately heavy smoker of around ten a day, undertook reflexology, a treatment she was "dead chuffed" to have drawn from our lifesaving hat.
"I'm still smoking as much as ever. I feel really bad, because the reflexologist was so nice that I pretty much fell in love with her, but I just love cigarettes more. I'm a bad person."
FHM 0 - 1 SMOKING
Alan, a social smoker, underwent laser acupuncture, hence the snazzy sunnies.
"I didn't smoke at all for a few weeks, but then I had a big boozy blowout at a mate's birthday do and smoked a few. Since then I've smoked occasionally, just when I'm drinking. I'm not back smoking as much as I was, though - I'm definitely smoking less."
FHM 0.5 - 1.5 SMOKING
Grant was a pretty light smoker, only getting through three or four a day, a habit he tried to kick with a stop-smoking app.
"I'm still clean-ish. I don't smoke as regularly but I still have the occasional one when I'm out - as a bonding exercise. Also, I probably should admit that I've just flown to America and the first thing I did after landing was go out and buy a packet of American Spirit cigarettes and start smoking 'em, because it seemed like the right thing to do."
FHM 1 - 2 SMOKING
Mel tried to kick his ten-a-day habit with the use of SmartSmoker electronic cigarettes.
"I'm afraid I'm smoking as much as ever. The convenience of real cigarettes just wins out every time. You don't have to charge them, and, if you leave them at home, every corner shop sells them in handy little packets. They're great. Everyone should try them."
FHM 1 - 3 SMOKING
Jess, whose parents didn't know she smoked (but almost certainly do now), tried to shake her habit of smoking when she drinks with the aid of nicotine patches and gum.
"Nicotine patches and gum aren't meant for someone who smokes as infrequently as me, you idiot. I'm now more hooked than ever. I'm going to sue you. I'm going to sue FHM. I'm going to sue everyone."
FHM 1 - 4 SMOKING (Pretty comprehensive, this one. Sorry J-Co.)
A team of highly-trained hypnotherapists tried to help Jamie stop ploughing through ten a day.
"I still smoke just as much as I did before, but, to be honest, I was never that committed to quitting. I did learn that I'm not particularly susceptible to hypnotism, though, which is nice."
FHM 1 - 5 SMOKING
Stuart had been smoking 15-20 a day for about twelve years. We sent him some SKYCIG electronic cigarettes.
"I was slightly dubious, as I have tried electronic cigarettes before, but after some recent illness in my family, related to smoking, I thought I’d give it another try.
"I found them surprisingly good. The SKYCIG looks, tastes and feels very similar to an actual cigarette and still gives you the same ‘hit’ on the back of your throat, which the previous electronic cigarette I tried didn’t give.
"It has certainly helped me cut down. I now use the SKYCIG to replace around half of my normal daily intake, so I'm now smoking 7-10 actual cigarettes a day, while still using the SKYCIG.
"I'd 100% recommend it. If it can help me cut down, then I am sure anyone could benefit from using them."
FHM 2 - 5 SMOKING
In conclusion, our campaign wasn't what you'd call a resounding success. In fact, it would be easy to pour scorn and say "none of you actually quit smoking haha you're all twats". But some of us now smoke less than we did before, which means we're a bit healthier and a bit less poor than we were before, and that's a GOOD THING.