We hate to break it to you, but that’s that until 2018. The greatest show on earth ended last night with more of a whimper than a bang, as Germany kept us waiting until extra time to finally send Argentina packing.


Before braving the torturous, football-starved month that lies between us and the new season, here’s a roundup of last night's finest:


Excruciating awkwardness of the finest kind occurred in the first half, when Gonzalo Higuain’s goal for Argentina was ruled offside… and the entire stadium realised it before he did.


Things then took an unexpected ultra-violent turn when goalie Neuer totally KAPOWed Higuain in the head.

And after what felt like forever, Mario Götze pierced the final's onsetting boredom with his heroic winning goal:


And here’s his eye-wateringly sexy girlfriend, singer and model Ann-Kathrin Brommel, who we’d have quite happily watched for the first ninety minutes.

Ann Kathrin Brommel


The stadium came dangerously close to imploding when Germany’s devastatingly sexy WAGs united on the pitch for this team picture.


Rihanna had far more fun than anyone else in Rio, generously taking the time to distract waiting fans with some sexy bra-flashing antics.

She later joined model Adriana Lima for a World Cup selfie that makes all others irrelevant:

Given Messi’s dismal performance in the final, this Mexican TV station’s proposal to replace Jesus might have been a little premature in hindsight.


And last but by definitely no means least was this half-hearted streaker’s fifteen seconds of glory, which the whole world proceeded to ignore...

Words by Alastair Livesley