Everything that’s wrong with LA Noire

Posted by , 29 June 2011

The combat is rubbish

The combat is rubbish

"Wow, hope I don't end up sleeping with this German chick and ruining my career"

The combat is so bad they that let you skip it if you’re doing badly. That’s not the mark of a good game – can you remember the last game to offer the option of skipping chapters? It was the new Alone in the Dark, and we’re all aware of what a shitfest that was. 

Each combat takes one of two patterns – people with guns will shoot at Phelps until one of the parties involved is dead. People without guns will invariably run away, leading to an inevitable capture at the hands of marathon-runner, parkour expert and mixed martial artist Cole Phelps. Such is the way of LA Noire.

The control system is unintuitive – we lost count of the number of times we tried to break cover and Phelps just petulantly threw his shotgun on the floor instead like a sulky teenager. Also, for reasons best known to themselves, Bondi used the same button for Run and Shoot. The same button.

They had 14 buttons to choose from, and they picked the same goddamn button.

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