Find your festive spirit and watch one of FHM's real Christmas flicks this December...
A gang of adorable prototype Furbys turn homicidal after idiot teenager Billy Peltzer fails spectacularly to follow the simple instructions on his latest Christmas present.
The Xmas factor: However lacking the gifts you receive on the 25th might be, take solace in the fact that they probably won’t wind up trying to murder you and your girlfriend with power tools.
Quote: “Now I have another reason to hate Christmas.” – Kate
Take a drink every time: Billy blatantly violates one of the three golden rules of Mogwai ownership.
Batman Returns (1992)
A stampede of animals run rampage in Gotham City as Batman and Catwoman fight to stop fishy crime kingpin The Penguin getting his flippers on the city’s mayoral office.
The Xmas factor: Christopher Walken’s slimy business tycoon Max Shreck is the ultimate anti-Santa, offering up Christmas presents to orphans one minute and murdering secretaries the next.
Quote: “How about a kiss, Santi Claus?” – Catwoman
Take a drink every time: A bodily fluid drips out of The Penguin’s mouth.
American Psycho (2000)
High-flying Wall Street investment banker Patrick Bateman takes his yuppie lifestyle to its logical conclusion when he begins routinely offing colleagues and lovers.
The Xmas factor: What’s more Christmassy than a violent sadomasochistic threesome topped off with murder by chainsaw in snowy New York?
Quote: “Hamilton, have a holly-jolly Christmas!” – Patrick
Take a drink every time: An off-white business card with raised lettering is flashed arrogantly.
Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
A pre-Scientology Tom Cruise embarks on a voyage of sexual discovery across New York after his then-wife Nicole Kidman confesses thoughts of infidelity.
The Xmas factor: Those twin bastions of festive spirit, Christmas trees and writhing naked bodies, appear with equal frequency throughout the film.
Quote: “Remove your clothes.” – Red Cloak
Take a drink every time: There’s some sort of sex move or position that you never knew existed or was humanly possible.
Lethal Weapon (1987)
Oscar-winning bigot Mel Gibson teams up with a man who is clearly too old for this shit to bring down a high-profile heroin-smuggling operation.
The Xmas factor: An early scene features Gibson orchestrating a drug bust in a Christmas tree lot, and bartering a six-footer for himself.
Quote: “Goddamn Christmas.” – Mr Joshua
Take a drink every time: Gibson says something that seems altogether less funny in the light of subsequent allegations.
Die Hard (1988)
Reconciliation with his estranged wife proves harder than expected for John McClane, after she’s taken hostage at the office Christmas do by Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman) and his fellow "German" terrorists.
The Xmas factor: Let’s be honest: it’s hard to recall an office party that hasn’t ended in a hostage situation.
Quote: “If this is their idea of Christmas, I gotta be here for New Year’s.” – Argyle
Take a drink every time: You see any of John McClane’s bare toes in shot.
Edward Scissorhands (1990)
Johnny Depp takes on the first of a million "weirdo" roles in this quirky love story about a boy with scissors for hands and Nine Inch Nails’ Trent Reznor for a style icon.
The Xmas factor: (Spoiler alert!) The end of the movie reveals that Edward, thanks to his frantic carving of ice sculptures, is essentially responsible for the world’s snow.
Quote: “Before he came down here, it never snowed.” – Kim
Take a drink every time: Edward manages to hold something without slicing it in two.
In Bruges (2008)
Grief-stricken hitman Ray accepts a fate worse than death after a job gone wrong: an indefinite winter break in the picturesque Belgian city of Bruges.
The Xmas factor: Snow, hit men, dwarves, drugs, murders – if that doesn’t get you feeling Christmassy, nothing will.
Quote: “Maybe that’s what hell is, the entire rest of eternity spent in fucking Bruges.” – Ray
Take a drink every time: The word "Bruges" is preceded by the word "fucking".
The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996)
Suburban homemaker and mum Geena Davis begins to recall her former life as a lethal assassin, beating people to a pulp along the way. Kind of like Jason Bourne, but with better tomato-chopping skills.
The Xmas factor: Seeing what happens when someone blows a Christmas tree up with a rocket launcher.
Quote: “No, you’re not going to die, honey. They are. Cover your ears.” – Charly
Take a drink every time: Geena survives a jump from a building/explosion/torture session that would destroy a bull elephant.
Words by Charlie Lyne.