Meat Loaf, the hard-rocking bat out of hell, talks crime-fighting, '60s hippie parties in LA and royal reincarnations in the FHM Bloke Test…

01 What’s the biggest thing you’ve set on fire?
I was in the Boy Scouts, so we probably made a camp fire, but I don’t remember it. The last thing I lit was a fireplace. A gas one.
Not blokecross  

02 Have you ever worn a trilby?
A what? No, I’ve only ever worn a cowboy hat or a baseball cap.

03 Have you ever spent a significant amount of time talking to an animal?
Yeah, I talk to my dogs all the time. Anybody that has dogs knows they’re family, they’re not just dogs. They have different tones in their barks depending on what they want.

04 Have you ever successfully stared someone out?                    
If somebody was trying to stare me out, I wouldn’t stare back. I’d walk over to them and say something. I’m very intimidating when I want to be.

05 Have you ever rescued an animal?

I rescued a dog from a highway once, in the early ’80s. Actually, back in the early ’70s, I was in a taxi going through Central Park and I heard a girl screaming. There was some guy attacking her and I ran after him. The police told me to never do that again and I said, “Are you crazy? I’d do that every time!”

06 Do you enjoy scented candles?
No, oh God no. No scented candles. Except vanilla. Other than vanilla, forget it.

07 Have you ever thrown a punch and missed?

No. Every punch I’ve thrown has connected, but I don’t hit people any more. I grew up in Texas, where it’s, “Punch first, ask questions later.”

08 Have you ever made growling noises at yourself in the mirror?
I can’t imagine why you’d ever want to do that. Lately, I’ve just been looking in the mirror going, “I need a haircut.”
Not blokecross 
09 Have you ever eaten a raw egg?

I must have at some point as a dare. I can’t have gone my whole life without eating a raw egg, but then again, I can’t remember. Either in college or high school or some hippy party in the ’60s in LA.

10 Have you ever put your penis through your legs and pretended to be a girl?
Oh, I think every guy’s done that. I’d bet there isn’t a single guy alive who hasn’t done that. Even John Wayne.

11 Have you ever thought, however briefly, that you might be Jesus?

No, I was Henry VIII. [We ask him what that means.] Because I was Henry VIII. Point blank.

12 Have you ever killed and then eaten something (not including a fish)?
I’ve been around people that have killed chickens and I couldn’t eat them. I was a vegetarian for 11 years and I’m pretty much heading back that way.
Not blokecross 

13 Other than, of course, Meat Loaf, have you got any manly nicknames?
Fireball. I got that from how I am when I’m on stage.

14 Have you ever shaved a part of your body other than your face?
When I played football, I had to shave my legs so they could tape my ankles. Only up to a certain point, though. Not the whole leg. You could either do that or scream every time they took the tape off.
Not blokecross 

15 Have you ever had a poo with someone else in the room?

Yup, my wife.

SCORE: 11/15
Who knew you were such a lady-saving knight in shining armour, Mr Loaf? But, unlike a knight, you’re failing is not killing stuff. Maybe Malt Loaf would have been a more fitting nickname for you, eh?

Meat Loaf’s classic album Bat Out Of Hell Remastered and his latest album Hell In A Handbasket are available now.


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