What’s it about?
The Autobots (good guys) and Decepticons (bad guys) become aware of the presence of a Cybertronian spacecraft called The Ark on the moon (the dark side of it, obvs). Cue plenty of robot scuffles as they race to learn and use the secrets inside it. All whilst Shia LaBeouf tries to get a job and keep his new missus happy. We’ve been excited for quite a while about it, but is it any good?
What’s good about it?
The major attraction point to the first two Transformers films – Megan Fox aside – has always been the amount of proper action. We’re talking proper, robotic wrecking balls-out fight scenes. So it’s a relief that, once again, the latest instalment of the franchise delivers on that front. There’s gigantic robot scrapping aplenty, all brought to life in spectacular fashion with the incredibly good looking 3D. The quality of the CGI alone makes this film a gorgeous thing to watch – but only if exploding metal wrecks are your thing.
We also wouldn’t be doing our job properly if we didn’t mention the film’s new female lead: the super-curvy, Megan Fox-replacing, Sexiest Woman in the World – Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. The Brit beauty plays Shia LaBeouf’s new squeeze and mainly spends her time on camera strutting around in a tight white dress and pouting with that whole ‘oooh, look at me being all pouty in a white dress’ look. Which is excellent viewing, especially in 3D.
"That's the shopping put away... shotgun not taking the trolley back"
What’s bad about it?
As barnstormingly good as the action scenes are, they do have a tendency to drag on somewhat – and because the film is pretty much all action from the off, the film is way too long as a result. The runtime clocks in at over 150 minutes, largely because of the climax to the film - an enormous robot battle-to-end-all-battles which lasts an hour. A whole bloody hour. It’s impressive, but after half hour or so, you’re left thinking, ‘for the love of Optimus, just pull his plug socket out and be done with it already.’
You’ll also have to overlook the fact that Rosie Huntington-Whiteley must’ve skipped a few acting lessons in favour of being photographed in her smalls. Hey – we’re not complaining – you’ll just be disappointed if you’re looking for Oscar-winning performances.
Robots are just the worst when it comes to getting red eye in photos
Should you go and see it?
Transformers 3 is great fun if you know what you’re letting yourself in for. If you want almost three hours of your life to be concentrated on more explosions than you can shake a Hasbro toy out, then Transformers 3 – easily the best and most developed of the franchise – then get down and see it. Oh, and be warned: if you’re taking the missus, you may risk her transforming (for want of a better word) into a Rosie Huntington-Whiteley-sized green eyed monster. So pick who you go with – or just go when on your own if all your mates are ‘busy’. That’s what we did.
Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon is out in cinemas from today