FHM was invited along to the Snowbombing Road Trip by the (endlessly energetic) guys over at Lucozade Energy. So, we joined hundreds of spandex-clad adrenaline junkies in pimped-out motors and set off on a 1,200-mile pilgrimage through France, Belgium and Germany in search of the mind-blowingly rad Snowbombing Festival.
What is essentially a week-long celebration of winter sports and dance music held upon the sunkissed slopes of Mayrhofen, Austria, the Snowbombing Festival is possibly the most fun you can have on a ski slope with zero skiing ability.
Needless to say, the booze-necking nomads (and ProPlus-popping drivers) get up to all manner of madcap shit along the way, so we squeezed ourselves into into our least forgiving lycra, rearranged our googly-bits and took our rightful place alongside the convoy.
These are just some of the things we saw:
A collection of superheroes that would make even The Avengers cack all over their capes
Cookie Monster and the Abominable Snowman finally settled ‘The Greatest Feud that Nobody Ever Knew Existed’ with a furious round of pillow-jousting
It’s all fun and games until you accidentally peer into the Cookie Monster’s cold, lifeless eyes.
Some dudes installed a functioning Nerf gun onto their bonnet, which we can only assume will come as standard with all cars from this point onwards
And some road-trippers just brought their entire living rooms along, because why the hell not?
We smashed the Guinness World Record for the largest number of superheroes doing a conga on a ferry
Thoroughly disproving Mum’s hurtful assertions that we’d never amount to anything.
Before witnessing Gorgon City play an ace DJ-set out the side of a massive van
We discovered that biker gangs look a whole lot better in Austria
But the less said about their sandwiches, the better
The filling? Mystery meat. The mystery? Explosive diarrhoea.
We were then greeted onto the streets of Mayrhofen by hundreds of bemused, cheering Austrians (and one suicidal Elmo)
A horrific banana-peel pile-up meant that the Mario Kart boys had to carpool
Robin lapped up his rare moment in the spotlight
…before being duly outshone once again
And then to conclude those bladder-battling miles, we all donned our ski clobber and danced our snow-drenched arses off at the most ear-meltingly awesome, action-packed music festival in the whole bloody universe.
Lucozade definitely know how to throw a shin-dig.
Words: Nick Pope.