Everything that’s wrong with LA Noire

Posted by , 29 June 2011

We will never play it again

We will never play it again

"God, I wish we had curtains. Blinds are way too atmospheric for a Tuesday morning"

LA Noire will sit next to Heavy Rain on the special two-disc section of our shelf devoted to games that we really liked but are never ever going to play again. 

Once you’re done with the investigations, there’s almost no reason to return and do them better because either a) you know who did it or b) it doesn’t matter who you think did it, because none of the available suspects are actually guilty and it was some bartender ALL ALONG. Sure, we could try to get five stars on all the investigations, but why bother? IT WAS THE BARTENDER.* 

God's sake.

*Or the War Vet, in act four.

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