We'll level with you here, FHM.com fans. As dextrous channel surfers we occasionally stumble across Celebrity Big Brother. It's just one of the many quandaries of midweek viewing. Mostly we poke our nose around, do a little sniff, then leave. But eviction nights are different. The crowds! The noise! The signs! Who are the people? What are they doing there? Do they have flasks? So, clipboard in hand and looking a bit too much like a teaching assistant, we headed down to find out what makes these Celebrity Big Brother fans tick…
Left to right: Tom 19, Connor 19 and Luke 23 from Hemel Hempstead
Hi guys, what brings you down to the Big Brother eviction this evening?
Luke: We’re off to Big Brother's Bit On The Side actually!
Oh. Are you nervous?
Tom: Not really, we’re regularly on the spin-off show.
What’s the best thing about it?
Connor: It’s just the excitement of it, seeing their faces.
Do you like being on TV?
Tom: Well I like pointing out to people that I’m on the show, like I’ll tell some girls to make sure they keep an eye out for me.
Have you ever used that as a chat up line?
Luke: Yeah, I’ve used it once actually.
You must be quite proud of it?
Connor: I don’t think we’re proud of it, I know people who edit them and put them on YouTube like a little show reel.
Tom: Well, I’ll stick it on Facebook.
For the girls?
Tom, Connor, Luke: (laughs) Sometimes.
Left to right: Kim 20, Sophia 19 and Nikki 24 from London
Hello, are you enjoying the experience so far?
Sophia: Oh yeah this is a hoot. We love standing outside in the cold.
Kim: We probably wouldn’t come back to be honest.
Nikki: We just want to be on TV.
Why didn’t make a sign then so that people could spot you?
Nikki: We’re lazy.
Kim: We want to be on TV but we don’t want to put the effort in.
What would you be doing if you weren’t here?
Sophia: Watching films.
Kim: Or out partying, getting drunk.
So you wouldn’t watch the show?
Kim: We’re only here as we got free tickets.
Left to right: Kevin, Wayne and Pete from Borehamwood
Evening gentlemen, what brings you to the house?
Pete: We’re here quite a bit actually.
Wayne: Yeah, we’re semi-regulars on the Bit On The Side show. I guess we’re VIPs tonight because we’re going to the eviction as well.
So you’re fairly used to being in front of the camera?
Pete: Well I’m a TV extra.
Kevin: And I’ve been on Britain’s Got Talent.
Wayne: And I’m a psychic medium. So we’re all pretty use to the cameras to be fair.
What do you make of the celebs in the house?
Wayne: They’re scraping the barrel a bit.
Pete: I can’t stand Frankie. He’s arrogant, he’s not a celebrity and he’s arrogant. He’s an arrogant, sexist pig.
Kevin: As long as he doesn’t win I’m happy – he isn’t even a celebrity. As a Britain’s Got Talent contestant, I’ve got as much fame as Frankie Cocoza.
What did you do on Britain’s Got Talent?
I was Darth Dongle and I’m going on again this year as Frankenstein.
Were you not tempted to make a sign for the eviction show?
Pete: Oh god no.
Kevin: It’s all a bit, ‘Hey look at me I’m on TV’. Why on earth would you do it, unless you only wanted to get on television?
Wayne Isaac, from Borehamwood
Wayne, if you’re a psychic medium, we have some more questions. Who's going to win?
The only genuine person in the house is Natalie Cassidy, she’s the only genuine person.
So you think she’s going to win it?
Well, as I mentioned, I’m a psychic medium and I’ve already seen that Natalie’s going to win it.
You’re that sure?
I’ve seen it in a dream and when she comes out that house she’ll be wearing a black dress and it’s already set. On this, the future is already done. It cannot be changed.
But how do you know?
She gives back more than she receives. She gives out a lot and she receives little. She does a lot for charity.
Is that why you think she is going to win?
No, nothing to do with that.
Well she’s done the fitness video and from a woman’s point of view, she’s lost a lot of weight. People look up to her as a role model because she was overweight and she did something about it.
Are you a regular to the show?
Well I come to the Bit On The Side shows a fair bit, but I honestly think they need a weekly psychic medium in the house as well. I’ve got 8,000 friends on my Facebook and I think there is a demand for a psychic.
Have they asked you to do any readings on the Bit On The Side show?
I was on the George Lamb show a while back.
And what did you predict?
They took me in the cabin, and I made one of their guys cry because I brought his grandad through. Then I predicted that before any of the guests were taken in that a blonde model was going to win the show. And it was Sophie Reade that won it.
Good stuff! So would you like to go on the show more regularly?
Yeah course I would. Who wouldn’t, but I wouldn’t want it to jeopardise my profession.
Jessie and Keisha
Who would you like to see leave the house?
Keisha: I don’t really like Frankie. He’s not really anyone is he? He’s nothing to do with us.
How do you mean?
Jessie: Well he’s not a celebrity.
Is Natasha Giggs a celebrity?
Jessie: Well, it’s best to keep her away from the rest of the world.
You haven’t managed to get into the show tonight, have you?
Keisha: Nope they’ve told us they’re full now.
Did it take long to get here?
Jessie: We came all the way from Fulham, so, like, over an hour.
Do you wish you had stayed at home?
Keisha: Yeah, we’ve wasted money and we got Sam’s Chicken.
What’s so bad about Sam’s Chicken?
Jessie: Nothing, but we could have got it at home.
Joe & Jodie from Swindon
Hey, nice sign, but did you not get in?
Joe: Nope, and we’ve travelled 3 hours from Swindon as well.
Jodie: Everyone knew about this, We’ve told like 800 friends on Facebook to look out for me.
Did you get to the house late?
Jodie: Nope. We’ve been here since 5 o’clock.
So what happened?
Jodie: We left the queue to get something for dinner because they said we could, and now we’ve got back and we can’t get in.
Joe: I kinda thought it was like a football ground where you could get a ticket and turn up and you get in, and you wouldn’t have to wait; but now we’re being turned away.
Which part of the show were you most looking forward to?
Joe: This would have been like the ultimate highlight of the Big Brother experience.
Jodie: We wanted the experience and we wanted to wave our banners on TV.
Are you upset that no one will get to see them?
Well, believe it or not, it took us seven hours. They don’t look like much but they’re good I think. So yeah, it’s a bit disappointing.