Here's the lowdown on keeping fit: eat too much and you get proper fat. If you want bigger arms, then lift heavier stuff. Despite the simplicity of all this, people still make millions trying to bullshit us into quick fixes and fad diets.

FHM Bionic, though, is 100% bullshit free - we're saying yes to the truth. In fact we're even calling 2012 The Year Of The Yes. Twelve months in which you can finally take up the sport you always wanted to, and work on getting as beefy (or as lean) as your heart's desire. And FHM is here with the knowledge you need to get started.

Kicking things off is Joey Barton, a man a the top of his game, who always speaks the truth, whether people like it or not (and usually it's a 'not'). Pick up the new issue of FHM, on shelves now, and prepare to have your mind changed about Britain's smartest footballer...

Dan Jude, deputy editor
Follow me on Twitter @danjudeFHM

FHM Bionic with Joey Barton

 - The 10 new rules of losing your gut!
 - How to beat the supermarket!
 - Grooming essentials!
 - Danny Care's 28-day gym routine!
 - Your gym true stories!
 - Special quizzes: Which runner or biker are you?
 - Loads of pills!