Unless you’ve skydived naked across the Grand Canyon or fired an AK47 into a flock of feral pigeons, there’s a good chance that you’ve never done anything as exhilarating as driving a convertible Jaguar very, very fast.
Until last week, FHM was in that position. And then the kind people over at Jaguar asked us if we wanted to take the new F-type – the sports car that Jag have been promising to build for 39 years – for a spin in the Italian mountains.
During our time in the new two-seater, 3.0-litre, V6 supercharged beast, we learned a lot of things. We learned that it’s very hard not to soil yourself when you hit 140mph on a country road. We learned that when you go from 0-60 in under 5 seconds with the top down, it’s very easy to lose your sunglasses. And we learned that the perfect car may finally be upon us.
Here’s 10 reasons why:
01 We’ve been waiting for it for 40 years
Jaguar haven’t rushed production on their successor to the E-type – it’s taken the best part of half a century to get this car to the market. But you know what they say about good things coming to those who wait…
02 Changing gear has never ever been so much fun
If you’ve always wanted more gears than there are Police Academy films, then the F-Type’s eight-speed sequential ‘Quick-shift’ transmission is for you. It gives the power and torque at any speed.
03 The new Switchable Active Sport Exhaust System is awesome
When activated, this little feature turns the exhaust note into something resembling Krakatoa, but on a larger scale. Expect to have this switched on. Forever.
04 It feels like you’re in a cockpit
The design of the entire car has been modelled to create an intimate, submerged feel. Sit behind the wheel and you feel like you’re about to launch a submarine, not drive a car.
05 Every inch is designed to look irresistible at all times
The door handles retract in to the door panels and the air vents bow gracefully in to the dash when they’re not being used, never compromising aesthetic perfection.
06 It’s the closest you’ll ever come to being a fighter pilot
The gear selector and accompanying switches are designed like those used in fighter-jets, so every single flip turns you in to a six-year-old making rocket noises.
07 It has the body of a God. A very, very light god
Utilising an extremely lightweight aluminium frame makes for a skull-melting power to weight ratio. The rigidity of the frame also means it will handle perfectly at any speed.
08 Control that will make you better than you really are
The automatic rear spoiler will give you colossal downforce, and for when the shit gets real the monster brakes and split differential will keep you glued to the road.
09 It won’t spend all year locked away under a cover
While a lot of sports cars start crying at speed-bumps, the F-Type is actually practical, with its sensible boot (at the back) and silky smooth ride.
10 It is, most importantly, a full-blooded British sports car
This car is not a technicoloured Italian poser or a reserved German briefcase – this is an English Jaguar with classic style and proud heritage in every single element. And it’s bloody awesome.
Words: Dan Jude