Your hair is a gremlin. During the day it’s cute, fluffy and adorably strokable, but after midnight its evil side surfaces and it scurries off into the shadows on an unrestrained voyage of wickedness and depravity, returning, thunderously disheveled, just in time for your wakening.

God, hair, can’t you just stay in for one bloody night? Just chill out, play some CoD, maybe watch a DVD, order a delivery if you get peckish? Does it have to be a wild one EVERY SINGLE NIGHT?

Your hair grunts at you like an insolent teenager.

So you moodily do your best to tame what looks like the scene of an avian homicide into something you can leave the house with, which makes you late, meaning you have to run for the bus, which messes up your hair again, making the whole process a depressing exercise in circular futility.

There must be a better way.

There is. Simply pop a beanie on your head and no one need know what lies beneath. And, if anyone asks you why you’re wearing a wooly hat in the office in the middle of summer, just say you’re having chemo and break down in tears. Yeah, John from accounts, who’s laughing now?



Emerica Drifter Beanie

Routeone, £9.99

Alpine Beanie

All Saints, £30

All Saints beanie
Topman monster beanie



Grey Monster Face Beanie Hat

River Island, £10


Nor Cal Republic Beanie


Skate Warehouse, $16.99


Nor Cal Republic beanie
Fat Face multi stripe beanie



Fat Face Multi Stripe Beanie


Surfdome, £15.99

Quiksilver Riot Beanie

Surfdome, £24.99

Quiksilver riot beanie
Milton dark grey beanie



Altamont Milton Beanie


Slam City Skates, £24.99

Southsea Bronx Fold Hat


Bored of Southsea, £18

Bored of Southsea beanie
Independent beanie



Independent Woven Crosses Beanie


Extreme Pie, £19.99

Neighborhood Olive
Hog ANW Cap


The Hideout, £52.50

Neighborhood beanie