Plan B made an awesome song about riots, peeps have made some awesome clothes and stuff, and we’ve made an awful mistake by leaving our lunch at home.

LOOK AT THAT CAT. LOOK AT HIM!

Catnip T-shirt
Topman, £16

What has that cat seen? Is it an approaching flotilla parade dedicated to 90s hitmakers B*Witched? Is it David Cameron and Barack Obama having a Lady and the Tramp moment over an American hot dog? Or is he looking at you and realising that he was your father before a cruel curse transformed him into a feline?

WE WILL NEVER KNOW.

THESE? OH, THEY'RE JUST MY TABLE TENNIS TRAINERS

Fred Perry table tennis canvas
Fred Perry, £47

We're not entirely sure table tennis is a sport that really requires dedicated footwear, but Fred Perry clearly disagree and have solved your wobbly wiff-waff woes with these 'table tennis canvas' trainers.

We love table tennis, so much so that we once beat the 2 Bears at their own game (that game being table tennis, obviously), but not once in our illustrious ping pong career have we ever thought "Damn, we totally could have shuffled across six inches and made that backhand, if only we'd been wearing more suitable kicks".

FOXES — COOL OR TWAT?

Fox Kicker Backpack
Fox, £39.99

We're not really sure where we stand on foxes. We're a big fan of Twitter-hero Gus the Fox, we're not keen on their super-screechy lovemaking sounding soundtrack outside our window EVERY SINGLE FRIGGIN' NIGHT, but we did love that cool one from The Animals of Farthing Wood.

We're also pretty hot on this backpack they've designed with their cunning little paws, so we'll put up with another night of 'How's your vixen?' keeping us up till 5am.

EVERY GORILLA'S GOING SURFIN'

Adidas Originals Jeremy Scott Gorilla
Adidas Originals, £45

David Attenborough might have one or two qualms with the biological integrity of this T-shirt, what with a gorilla surfing and a crocodile-cum-dinosaur-thing hanging out in the sea, but y'know what? SHUSH SIR DAVID ATTENBOROUGH YOU BLOODY WONDERFUL MAN AND GO BACK TO YOUR PRETEND POLAR BEARS.

SUMMERTIME IS NEARLY HERE

Oliver Peoples sunglasses
Oliver Peoples, $350

If you're looking outside and thinking "Ergh, it's not summery at all, why are they writing about sunglasses?" or "Oh, aviators? Never heard of those before; how very original", you need to go home, close all the doors and windows, crank the heating up to the max, take your top off and watch Top Gun, and then go and play some god gamn volleyball.

Top Cruise Top Gun volleyball

It's not camp it's DANGERZONE.