It may be Friday the 13th, but today’s your lucky day. Provided you like awesome gloves, scarfs, trainers, T-shirts and monster-smuggling sweatshirts, that is.

"Stop that fox, he's burgled my house!" "Yeah, but look how fucking cool he is!"


Money, £35

Barcelona-based street artist Malarky has taken a break from beautifying city walls to knock out this limited edition print. It's a lot better than having "Millwall 4eva" or "Steve Denham's never been laid" in whispy spraypaint on your chest. There's only 100 available, so get them quick before they're all gone or before petty criminals start trying to scrub them off as part of their 'community rehabilitation process'.

Air Max: now in more colours, still cool

Nike Air Max 90
Nike, £92

One day, they'll release a new Air Max colourway and there'll be an awkward silence while it slowly dawns on them that mixing 'regurgitated Rusks' with a hint of 'placenta purple' was perhaps a mistake. Until then, let's celebrate the fact that they've got it spot on YET AGAIN.

I've got five pounds, right...

Joy scarf
Joy, £5

Thanks to wonderful things like January not having Christmas in it and a MASSIVE GLOBAL RECESSION, you can get this great scarf for a fiver. Be thankful to Jesus and shady American bankers for your lovely toasty neck.

What's that coming out of your jumper? Is it a monster?

Peekaboo sweatshirt

You'd think that dropping small morsels of food through the zip and making greedy monster gobbling sounds would get old, wouldn't you? Well you'd be wrong. "GRGHNOMNOMNOM"

Get some gloves, Spinalonga hands

Topman gloves
Topman, £12

(Adopt Old Spice man voice) Look down at your hands. Now back to us. Now down to your hands. Now back to us. Now look ashamed. More ashamed. They're a mess, son. And do you know why that is? Because you keep going out in the cold and then back into the warm and then out in the cold and then back into the warm and then... YOUR HANDS CAN'T HANDLE IT. Get some gloves.