It's a jungle in the weights room. Read the workout dos and don'ts in FHM's beefcake survival guide…
01 NO SEX FACES
You're bound to gurn a little as you flex your way to buffdom, but if your tongue starts lolling out like a thirsty dog, you need to subdue your writhing face with some Sellotape.
02 BEWARE SWEAT
Allow a bead of hair-gel-infused sweat to slide into your eye and you'll be helplessly winking at fellow gym-goers, leading to an awkward exchange with a muscular gentleman in the changing rooms.
03 START AT 100
When performing reps, always start counting at 100. By the time you've hit 130, a crowd of crop-topped cuties will have gathered to cheer on your incredible feats of hunkiness.
04 RUN LIKE A PRO
Use running machines the way professional athletes do, by imagining that you're fleeing a drunken homeless man, while chasing a trolley filled with whisky and fivers.
05 YELL IT LOUD
Nothing gets you more pumped for success than your own catchphrase, yelled at every opportunity. Try something like "I beez triumphabulous, yo!" or "Bicep curls for the pretty girls!"