There are loads of reasons you might not know how to properly tie a tie. You didn’t have to wear one to school and now you don't have to wear one to work possibly? Maybe, like us, you did but you got your mum to tie it for you? Or, more realistically you’ve just drunk so much you can’t remember your own name, let alone how to tie a tie. Whatever the reason, here’s our super-easy five-step guide.

1. Length counts
First things first, get the dimensions of your tie right. Start with the fat end on your right and around 12 inches longer than the skinny end. Leave this too short and you’ll end up with the fat end shorter than the skinny, making you look like a proper twonk.

2. Cross over part I

Now, cross the fat end over the narrow wrapping it underneath. Pinch the beginning of your knot and hold it tight with your thumb at the back and your index finger out straight.

3. Cross over part II
Done that? Ok, continue bringing the fat end around passing it once more to the back. Keep that fucker pinched, at this point your index finger should have the tie wrapped around it.

4. The old up and down
Bring the fat end up through the neck and thread it into the gap where your index finger is, removing your stubby digit as you do it.

5. Pull it
Now, pull it tight making a small compact but neat knot, then with your right hand on the knot move it up towards your throat and into position. If the fat end of your tie is behind the thin end or one end is longer than the other, then start again dickwad. But if you’ve gone and done this right, give yourself a high-five.