Are you a man who enjoys a feminine beverage? Do you constantly ask your girlfriend to order two of her chosen tipple at your local bar and then duck under the table every time you need a swig of sweet flowery nectar?

Live in shame no longer, friend, as FHM has enlisted the help of expert mixologist Andy Pearson to solve your lady alco-woes. He’s taken the UK’s top drinks for damsels and transformed them into macho swill for your boozy pleasure. Glugs away.



A butch glass instantly beefs up any maiden’s grog. Pour in a shot of Malibu but only fill the glass half full with Coke. Top up with Guinness and knock it back like a man.

How does it taste?
Pleasantly fragrant. Like a large dollop of your girlfriend’s body wash has fallen in a can of Guinness.

Fun fact
The average Malibu and Coke contains 156 calories, the same as one bagel.
Manly rating

2/5




Jägerbombs are, like, so last Friday. Drop a shot of lime-flavoured vodka into the eye of the beery storm and down your pint in one.

How does it taste?
It looks like a normal pint, but then you feel the fire in the back of your throat and and you know the culprit is dastardly vodka.

Fun fact
The average cost of a lager in the UK is £2.90, unless you live in London, in which it's £HOWMUCH?ITHINKI'VEJUSTSHITAKIDNEY.

Manly rating

3/5




Into an ice-filled pint glass pour a shot of vodka and a shot of Archers. Then replace the orange juice with an orange Bacardi Breezer.

How does it taste?

Like that dodgy punch you made from the leftover spirits from New Year’s Eve 2009.

Fun fact

Sex On The Beach is one of the International Bartenders Association’s official cocktails. It has fuelled Brits abroad humpings since 1973.

Manly rating

5/5




A standard Cosmo contains a shot of vodka, and one of Cointreau. Swap the Cointreau for Grand Marnier. Then double up on the shots.

How does it taste?

Like the luminous grog guzzled by underage drinkers in Yates’s. Strong and wrong.

Fun fact

The Cosmo was guzzled by Carrie and co on Sex And The City. Which makes it more girly than a sit-down wee.

Manly rating

1/5



Deconstruct it: down a shot of tequila, Cointreau, lime juice and then munch down a strawberry sprinkled with salt and Tabasco.

How does it taste?

Hot, salty and sweet, you can almost feel the hairs busting out of your chest.

Fun fact

Mexican bartender Don Carlos Orozco is said to have created the drink in 1941.

Manly rating

4/5



First invest in a stein. Then instead of adding soda or lemonade, finish it off with Hooper’s Hooch.

How does it taste?

Like a German beer wench has just dunked your head in a vat of crisp, cool white wine and then motorboated you.

Fun fact

The term ‘spritzer’ comes from the German ‘spritzen’, which means ‘to squirt’.

Manly rating

3/5