The Geneva Motor Show is a big car industry shindig that happens every March. It’s basically the whole industry waking up, showing off what it’s going to do for the year then going out and having foie gras and champagne until they keel over and have a heart attack.

What this means is there there’s a shitload of cracking motors on display – new ones, cool ones, stupid ones and some very, very fast ones. There are also a load of very beautiful women helping to display these cars.

Strangely, FHM is rather drawn to this combination of beautiful women and fast cars and so here we are, surrounded by the very best the international motor industry has to offer and taking a load of photos so you can be here too. Sort of. This is what we learned from being at the Geneva Motor Show 2014…
 
Mini has clearly given up making mini Minis entirely.

 
This Hyundai i20 WRC car wins Most Bonkers Rear Wing Of The Show.

 
This new Cadillac Escalade is what all the Premiership footballers will be driving next year.
geneva-motor-show-2014-cadillac-escalade
 
This company will turn your Mercedes van into a cinema. Why?
geneva-motor-show-2014-mercedes-car-cinema
 
This is definitely the most stupid car at the show.

 
There’s no such thing as a good lime green car.
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Honda seem to have started making spaceships.

 
This new Honda Civic Type-R concept is The Bomb.

Skoda is now capable of making very pretty cars. (Even if they do look a bit like a Seat.)

 
Money doesn’t buy you taste. At all. In any way.

 
This is how we like our hot hatches – the Vauxhall Astra Xtreme. Brutal.

 
This is The Most Badass Car At The Show – the new Kahn Land Rover Defender. You could invade a small country with this.

 
By far the most impressive sight at the whole show. And the Lambo’s not bad either.

 
The new Audi TT revealed for the first time. We want.

 
The Nissan designers have clearly been at the happy cigarettes again.

We have no idea what this is, but we want one.

 
This is what a Pagani Huayra looks like on the inside.

 
Turns out, when you know how to use it, 
green can work on a car.
 
This Koenigsegg is pure evil.

 
This is what the new Formula-E electric racing car looks like. Promises to be a lot of fun when it drops later this year.

 
The new Renault Twingo looks A LOT like a Fiat 500.

 
This car will drive itself. Look, there’s a lady sat backwards to demonstrate the concept.

 
This is the new Seat Leon Cupra, in grey and orange. We think it rocks.

 
This Carlsson modified Mercedes S-Class has had a taste transplant, winning Shitter Of The Show. Well done.

 
Volvo has made a car we actually want.

 
This a Danish hypercar. Turns out the Danes make pretty good cars when they put their mind to it.


Words by Conor McNicholas