This week’s five coolest things is brought to you by tasty food, musical caps, a bottle opener that’s timely once a year, some sweet 'are-we-trainers-or-boots-or-shoes-who-cares-we’re-awesome' footwear and, anticlimatically, a cool T-shirt.

We're open to suggestions so, if, for example, you want to buy yourself a new pair of trainers, tell us by saying, 'I WANT TO BUY A NEW PAIR OF BLUE TRAINERS' and we'll find something we think you'll like. The more detail you can give us the better, of course.

Dishoom is a tasty place to eat

Dishoom

Technically more of a ‘five coolest things we’ve eaten this week’, but last week we went to London’s first Bombay café to celebrate FHM Associate Editor Tom Howard’s birthday and it was so high on the NOMZ-Scale we just had to tell you about it. If you live in London, go and eat here. If you live outside London – isn’t it about time you took a trip?

Vampire tooth bottle opener

Vampire tooth bottle opener
£6.99 with free delivery

Throwing a Halloween party? Good for you! What you don't want is everyone saying "Yeah, the party was alright, but how lame was the bottle opener? I mean, COME ON, don't invite me to your party if you can't even be arsed to get a decent bottle opener, you dick".

A bottle opener can make or break a party, so don't RUIN yours with a regular old good-all-year-round bottle opener when you could have this little beauty cracking open the cold ones.

Like all good things, it also comes with a removable key ring attachment.

A T-shirt that will make people think you know stuff about clothes even if you don't

All Saints T-shirt
All Saints, £40

If graphic T-shirts were any more 'on trend' at the moment, they'd have their own post code, in which only the coolest kids could live, with borders patrolled by security dressed like kids from Skins. They don't, obviously, but this All Saints badger is one of the best we've seen.

Fred Perry boots(?)

Fred Perry boots
Fred Perry, £70

They might be experiencing the kind of identity crisis normally reserved for an emo having a spray tan, but these Fred Perry boots/trainers/hi-top/shoes know one thing for certain, and that is that they are EXCELLENT.

A hat that thinks it's music

Equaliser-cap
Zazzle, £12.20

This is a sweet trucker cap, right? How many colours d'you think it comes in? 2? Don't make us laugh. More. 4? Pfft. Higher. 7? Ha, not even close. More colours, man, more colours. 10?! Nope, higher still. 13? Oh. No. It comes in 12 colours.