Some people say that Tuesday is the most depressing day of the week. D’you know what we say to those people? “Don’t be a moron, it’s awesome." And if they ask us why, we say: "Well Masterchef's on, for a start. And Him & Her. Plus it's only one day until Wednesday. Oh, and the ‘five coolest things’. Don't forget that. Obviously that.”

Yeah. Rock on, Tuesday.

Stop wearing four hoodies and buy a decent coat, already

Merc Brodie Pea Coat
Merc, £125

In case you hadn’t noticed, the temperature has dropped BIGTIME. We thought we were watching Frozen Planet the other night; turned out we we’d just left the back door ajar.

Fear not, though, frozen friends. We’re not helpless against this onslaught of shiverdom. Grab yourself a decent coat like this peach from Merc and you’ll stay warm while looking cool. Get it? Warm as in temperate? Cool as in stylish? Probably didn’t need explaining, that one, did it? Kind of ruined it a bit now, haven’t we? Sweet coat though, eh?

If they're good enough for someone who's almost a god...

Adidas Originals Ransom Collaboration
Adidas originals x Ransom, £155. Call 0870 240 4204 for your nearest stockist

The Tantulas are named after the Greek not-God-as-such-but-still-pretty-powerful-dude of the same name, who just so happened to be the son of Zeus. If your old man is the ruler of Mount Olympus and the god of sky and thunder, you can't very well skulk around in a pair of battered plimsolls, can you?

These limited edition adidas beauts offer all the practicality and comfort of a quality hiking boot, with a touch of snazz that makes them as well suited for the bar as the top* of a mountain.

*Well, near the top, anyway. No one's ever really gonna know, are they? Especially if you angle the camera in that way so it looks like you ARE at the top. Yeah, that's it. Nice. Yeah, yeah, the view's lovely. Of course it was worth the effort. Now let's get the fuck down again; I don't like the look of that approaching cloud one little bit. Shit, was that lightning?

There's nothing cool about a cold neck, brother

The Hundreds Scarf
The Hundreds, $28

Don’t be like an inquisitive giraffe exploring the deepest reaches of his freezer in the hope of finding a few remnant fish fingers on a cold Sunday afternoon when he doesn't fancy going out to buy food and hasn't got any cash in to pay for a takeaway - keep your neck warm this winter. This scarf from The Hundreds will do the job nicely. It's 100% acrylic which means it feels just like wool but is resistant to moths. IN YOUR HUNGRY FACES, moths.

This T-shirt is so cool it's illegal, LITERALLY

Heavy Eco T-shirt
Heavy Eco, £29

"Oh hey mate, cool T-shirt. Where's that from?"

"PRISON."

It's not often that the above conversation could take place. But it could in one of these artfully crafted numbers from Heavy Eco. They give Eastern European prisoners the opportunity to showcase their creative side and they produce a slick range of T-shirts, bags and wallets, featuring whatever's on their mind - cathedrals, in this case. The inmates get paid for their work, and 50% of all profits go to help homeless and orphaned children. Just don't return it - that's our advice.

We like sweatshirts and we like polar bears


Topman, £28

So you'll understand why we are big fans of this sweatshirt. While pandas are being all 'Ooh, thanks for the ten grand bamboo caviar and the sexy lingerie and all that but I've got a bit of a headache so I think I'll pass on the sex and just go extinct', polar bears are trudging across endless miles of frozen terrain on the slim hope of a bunk up. And what happens when they finally do get some? Do they break down in tears after a Bieber-esque thirty second shuffle? Nah, they put in the performance of their lives, offer their thanks and plaudits, and then trudge off again to be all beary.