If you like hot hats, cool T-shirts, lovely jumpers… OH FORGET IT THERE ARE BINBAGS THAT LOOK LIKE CHRISTMAS PUDDINGS IN HERE.

Fans of cool things will have been troubled on Tuesday to notice the lack of our regular five coolest things feature. Thing is, y’see, the five coolest things is a bit of a diva. On Tuesday morning, she was nowhere to be seen. We kept calling her mobile, but no answer came. Eventually, she stumbled into the office, wearing a hoodie, some dirty jeans, and battered trainers. She still looked amazing, of course. “I’m not doing this Tuesday shit anymore,” she said. “I’m too fucking cool for Tuesdays. Give me a Friday or the deal’s off.”

Welcome to the five coolest things we’ve seen this week. Now on Fridays.

This T-shirt is the most important thing to happen in 2011. Kind of. Not really

Peter Werth, £25

Above everything, graphic T-shirts owned 2011. We would say they pwned it, but we're still not really sure what that means.

Yep, forget Rory McIlroy, the iPad 2, reality television, David Attenborough and his polar pals, Fenton the deer-chasing dog, MW3, people who enjoy looting JD Sports, Pippa Middleton and phone hacking - it's graphic T-shirts that people will look back and remember from 2011.

It's not too late to get yours, they'll probably be around next year as well. Maybe they were even around last year. S'crazy, this.

Oh my god I saw a snowdrop fetch me my hat

Ignite, £35

Ever have one of those days when, for no particular reason, you're scared of the outside world? You know, when you'll do anything to delay the inevitable trip outside. We had one of those yesterday. We needed to pop to HMV to pick up a Secret Santa present, but managed to put it off for three full hours discussing whether a giant cookie in the shape of Jimmy Carr was more or less tasty than one modelled on namesake comedian Alan Carr.

If we'd had this thunderously comforting hat, which makes you feel like you're in your own little world of cosyness, we might have got there before they shut. Which would have been handy.

Jimmy won hands down, by the way.

We could never have predicted being THIS excited about binbags

Suck, £9.99

Sure, £9.99's quite a bit for twelve binbags, and the council will probably refuse to pick them up "because they're not regulation bla bla bla", but, now that you've seen them, how can you possibly embarrass your house by putting regular old black bags in front of it this Christmas?

Plus, think of the joy you'll bring to your neighbours when the inevitable fox comes chewing through your rubbish and it looks like he's greedily wolfing down a festive pud. (Can foxes wolf...?) You can't put a price on moments like that. Well, you can - it's £9.99 - but you know what we mean.

Okay these hi tops are no Christmas pudding binbags but they're still bloody nice

Medwinds, £69

Sometimes, you just look at footwear and you can tell it's gonna be comfy. Your eyes meet across the shop floor, and you know that you're going to be spending some heavy duty time together. You could sleep in these, and then roll out of bed and head straight to the office. Why on earth you'd want to do that, and how HR would feel about your 'Italian Stallion' PJs is another matter, but you'd be too damn comfy to care.

Not got a Christmas jumper yet?

Topman, £28

If you're buying a Christmas jumper now, you're not going to get that much wear out of it before it's too late. The beauty of this bad boy is that you can get away with it after Christmas, too.

Until Christmas: "Yeah, that's a reindeer silhouette. Pretty Christmassy, eh?"

After Christmas: "Reindeer? Nah mate, just a stag. A manly, manly stag. All-year-round kind of animal, that."