How to get more sex, by Russell Brand, Jack Nicholson and erm... Johnny Vegas

Posted by , 18 January 2011

Jay Kay

Jay Kay

YOU DON’T NEED TO SLAM IT IN

I met somebody who I was quite into and the erotica was kind of enjoyable. There was actually very little sexual contact; the most intense moment was the rubbing of the ‘member’ against flesh. Just pleasantry, you know? And we’d also partaken of some LSD. No wonder it was intense.

AVOID THE ATTENTION SEEKERS

The first thing I go for in a girl is personality. The second is the body and the looks. The whole lot. There’s something about the quiet girl who’s sitting in the corner, doesn’t say a lot but is really cute and mysterious. Never the woman who’s dancing on the table.

GET YOURSELF SOME GOOD WHEELS

I’ve done a bit of loving in all of my cars. The best has got to be the Mercedes 600 Portman because it’s a proper 21-foot stretch limousine; there’s four fucking great seats, a partition from the driver, a bar and the rest of it. I’ll wind up the black electric division and the driver can’t see a thing. It’s fucking great.

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Relationship and sex advice from the FHM team. How to please your woman, talk to girls, have great relationships and be a Ron Jeremy in the bedroom.