It's pretty tough knowing what women like isn't it? Trying to work out what is going on inside their minds makes your feel like you've just been asked to rebuild the CERN Supercollider using Lego. But to help uncover some of the mystery, we surveyed 100 High Street Honeys to see what they really want:
95% expect you to at least offer to pay on a first date.
75% want you in a suit and tie. Though she also likes a simple, well-fitting T-shirt and jeans. Note the words “well-fitting”.
You should be spending no more than 27 minutes in the bathroom in the morning – whatever you might be doing.
78% would like you to kiss them on a first date.
Only a game 16% would consider taking things further than the front door.
When she eventually does let you into her bedroom, 82% want to see you wearing boxer briefs. 11% like classic boxers. 7% favour a banana hammock. Absolutely nobody wants to see you going commando.
You might think your topiary experiments are rather stylish, but unfortunately, it seems most women are anti face-fuzz.
Stubble: 89% Yes, 11% No
Short Beard: 31% Yes, 69% No
Long Beard: 100% No
Goatee: 38% Yes, 62% No
Soul Patch: 31% Yes, 69% No
Moustache: 25% Yes, 75% No
Good news if your going a bit thin on top: most women aren’t bothered if you’re balding. However, they say accept it and shave it off. Only 5% refused to accept a shiny-headed man. 83% had no problem with it. 12% actually prefer a bald man.
Silver foxes needn’t worry either. Only 12% of women thought a greying man should reach for the Grecian 2000.
Most women aren’t bothered by a bit of meat – and most don’t like body builder types.
68% are okay with a bit of a beer belly
33% can overlook skinny arms
Only 6% will live with your jiggly man boobs
A reassuringly small 25% want you to look like the Incredible Hulk
40% have no objection to your bottom being either a bit flat or a bit fat
50% won’t kick you out of bed for having legs like a rickets-ridden sparrow
74% like a man with a bit of hair on his chest
68% don’t mind if your bum’s leaning more towards coconut than peach
25% would like you to trim your undercarriage
Only 8% are okay with a hairy back
Only 9% reckon size matters in the trouser deparment. YES! Though 78% say a large penis is preferable. Bugger.
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