How to get more sex, by Russell Brand, Jack Nicholson and erm... Johnny Vegas

Posted by , 18 January 2011

Shia LaBeouf

Shia LaBeouf

CONFIDENCE IS KING

For some reason the first time I had sex I was trying to portray myself as a man who had done it many times already. I didn’t tell the girl I was a virgin. I was all, “Don’t worry, babe. I’m gonna handle it tonight.” All this bullshit. And meanwhile I was shaking in my boots.

BE WARY OF COPYING PORN STAR MOVES

It became apparent pretty quickly that I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing. Somewhere in her mind she had to know. I remember laying her on the bed and putting a pillow underneath her because I had seen that in a porn movie. I didn’t know why they did it; I just figured you put a pillow under her hips to raise her up.

DITCH THE PILLOW

So I got her on the pillow, which put her at a weird angle where I couldn’t get my dick in correctly. I’m not hung like a superhero, and clearly this wasn’t the move to do. I couldn’t get it in, or it kept slipping out.

STICK WITH IT

The more you have sex, the more you learn about what works and what doesn’t. Best is when you can be totally un-self conscious and try things. Like playing with tempo. How about extraordinarily slow sex? Like just staying in there. And from there do a major tempo shift and really go at it.

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Relationship and sex advice from the FHM team. How to please your woman, talk to girls, have great relationships and be a Ron Jeremy in the bedroom.