The FHM guide to conversation starters

Posted by , 29 June 2011

The <i>FHM</i> guide to conversation starters

Introduction

Words: Ellie Bond

We've already told you where to find the girls - and it’s not exactly hard to stumble across women given that they make up half the population and you are ALWAYS looking - but how in the name of chirps are you supposed to actually approach them and start a conversation?

You’ve scanned the bar/office/gym, you’ve pinpointed your prey using a complex hotness analysis system to ensure that the laws of probability are in your favour, and now all you have to do is go and talk to her. Easy, you might think - just say the first thing that comes into your head. Anything to get her to pay you a bit of attention.

Stop. Stop. Stop.

Haven’t you heard all those stats about first impressions? People form a solid opinion of you within the first 15 seconds of meeting you, and it’s very hard to change that opinion once it’s been formed – you can only build upon it. So that stupid joke you’ve been telling to break the ice (probably one of those crap ones about breaking the ice; you know, the one with the polar bear?) might have been robbing you of months of action.

With this in mind, we’re here to provide you with a bit of friendly advice that we have gathered from various sexperts and lovely females themselves about what to say and what not to say to make those first crucial 15 seconds lead to, erm, more seconds - and not send them running back to their mates with another hilarious, ‘you won’t believe what that loser just said to me’ story.

Of course, a lot depends on where the charm offensive is taking place (and how drunk you are); some hunting grounds are easier to navigate than others. For example, a crowded bar full of rowdy pissheads bumping into each other is obviously a different kettle of fish from a deafeningly quiet bookshop at midday. But there are a few ground rules that will apply at all times…

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Relationship and sex advice from the FHM team. How to please your woman, talk to girls, have great relationships and be a Ron Jeremy in the bedroom.