What do ladies like more than orgasms? Yes, ice cream, but, also: MULTIPLE ORGASMS. With this in mind, we asked relationship expert Issy Wharton and her sexy advice-giving friends to reveal how you could be better in bed. Here’s what they said…
DON'T: RIP HER PANTS OFF
“It’s not a film and they cost £12,” says Issy Wharton. “We want you to admire the posh underwear we bought on your suggestion, not chuck it on the floor after two seconds.”
DO: SLIP THEM TO ONE SIDE
“Pulling her pants to one side can be a massive turn on,” reveals sex expert Tracey Cox (traceycox.com). “This is especially true if you’re having a quickie outside the bedroom, as it allows a girl to have fun without worrying about how quickly she can pull her pants back up if someone interrupts.”
DON'T: TALK LIKE YOU'RE IN A PORNO
“There is nothing funnier than men having a bash at ‘dirty talk’, says comedian Bekka Bowling. “If a guy camply growls, ‘You totally like that, don’t you, you saucy bitch’ – it’s scientifically impossible not to laugh.”
DO: TALK EROTICALLY
“Stop telling her you want to fuck her brains out and start telling her exactly what you want to do, without being raunchy, or doing that lip snarl,” says Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of igniteyourpleasure.com. “Just look her in the eyes and give her good erotic talk.”
Stephanie, 21, Paris:"I'm not really into dirty talk, especially when it's too loud. I like it when men tell me what they're going to do in a romantic style."
DON'T: JUST SLIP IT IN THE WRONG HOLE
“This is the ultimate no-go,” says more! magazine’s sex expert Georgina Childs. “Anal sex may be a fantasy for blokes but a lot of women don’t want to try it at all, let alone do it without talking about it.”
“And don’t even think about slipping your finger in there without asking either,” concludes Sampson.
DO: DISCUSS YOUR FANTASIES
“Reveal your anal fantasy in the context of asking what she wants to try in the bedroom,” says Childs. “This way it won’t seem one-sided. Note: if she says yes, use lots of lube, take it slowly and make sure she feels she can tell you to stop if she doesn’t like it.”
Christine, 18, Norway: "I've had a few guys that have tried to slip it in my ass and I was like, 'No way!' If I was in a relationship and it was something he was really into, then I think I would talk about it, but on a one-night stand then no, no, no."
DON'T: ASK QUESTIONS
“‘Did you like that? Was that right? Is this OK?’ No. No. No. No,” says Bekka Bowling. “Asking for mid-session feedback is the worst thing a man can do in the bedroom, aside from erotically dancing with Star Wars memorabilia, which actually happened to me.”
DO: USE YOUR EYES
“Watch her body language and take your direction from that,” advises sex coach Amy Levine. “If she’s making faces out of discomfort or pushing you away, then adjust what you’re doing, but if she’s letting herself go and pulling you in, keep doing what you’re doing.” And if you simply must ask? “Say something ?like ‘This feels amazing, how can I make you feel as great?’” says Levine.
Marine, 21, France: "Don't ask too many questions. I like a bad boy in the bedroom, so he needs to take control and go for it. I don't want him to be stopping constantly to check I'm okay."
DON'T: TRY THE FIGURE OF EIGHT THRUST
“It’s not your ‘special move’,” yawns FHM Girlfriend Seren. “Everyone does it and everyone should stop doing it, because it really, really does nothing for us.”
DO: LIE BACK AND ENJOY
“If you really want to treat your girl, let her hop on and take control,” says Amy Levine. “She’ll either move in a circular motion or up and down. Either way, let her enjoy herself until she begins to lose her stamina, then give her a hand by holding her bum to help her move.”
DON'T: SUCK HER NIPPLES
“Too much sucking makes us feel like we’re feeding a suckling child and the noise is pretty off-putting,” reveals Wharton.
DO: FREEZE, WARM, FLICK OR PINCH THEM
“Here are some good general ideas,” says Mikaya Heart, author of The Ultimate Guide To Orgasm For Women. “Ice can be delightful, but some women prefer warmth, so if that’s the case take a mouthful of warm water and dribble it over her breasts slowly, holding them together. Some women love to have their nipples flicked, then pinched as they get more erect. Or, if she likes heavy-duty sensation, try gripping and tweaking the nipple once she is more aroused. Whatever you do, vary the speed and pressure, until you find what works best.”
Fleur, 25, Nottingham: "You don't want someone who's read a textbook and decided he's going to force you into some weird position. Being experimental is great, but you need to find out what works for each girl."
DON'T: BLOW ON HER VAGINA
… Or in our ear. “We’re out to get whoever told blokes that girls liked this,” warns FHM Girlfriend Seren. “It’s not hot, it’s ITCHY.”
DO: LICK HER LABIA
“If you want to mix things up during oral sex then instead of focusing all your attention on her clitoris, lick slowly and softly down either side of her labia using the flat of your tongue,” recommends more!’s sexpert Georgina Childs.
DON'T: KEEP SAWING AWAY
“Ignore the Kama Sutra and your mate ‘Top Shagger’ Ben,” says our Issy. “Good sex lasts between ten and 30 minutes. Crap sex lasts less than ten. Boring and painful sex lasts over half an hour.”
DO: ADMIT DEFEAT
“Just don’t cum,” states Tracey Cox, author of Sex SOS (E-book available at amazon.co.uk). “Men fixate over orgasms, but women don’t cum every time they have sex, so why should men? Admit defeat, make sure your lady is pleasured and then try again, probably after fewer drinks, tomorrow.”
Zoe, 25, South London: "The best sex is about rhythm. You have to get that right. It's a bit cliché, but being comfortable with someone makes everything better. Then cumming at the same time is very important to me."
DON'T: TRY TO STICK AS MANY FINGERS AS YOU CAN UP THERE
“It’s my vagina not a glove,” says FHM Girlfriend Seren. “End of story.”
DO: VARY THE PENETRATION
“Start foreplay by stimulating her clitoris so that she’s wet and ready for when you put your fingers inside her,” instructs more!’s Georgina Childs. “When she is wet and ready, use two fingers at most and make sure you vary the penetration between shallow and deep.”
Ellie, 21, Luton: "Too many fingers is gross. I had this guy who tried to put his whole hand up there. Terrifying."
DON'T: FORGET ABOUT FOREPLAY
“We’re women not sports cars,” explains Wharton. “We don’t go from 0-60 in four seconds. So if you rush for our vajayjay you’ll crash and burn on your first lap.”
DO: TAKE TIME TO ENJOY THE SCENERY
“Rather than being in a desperate hurry to get to your destination explore and enjoy her body,” says Sara Dappiano, from sex toy emporium Coco de Mer (coco-de-mer.com), “Your hands and lips are perfect for this, but if you want an extra thrill try blindfolds, feather ticklers or lickable lubes.”
Armani, 23, Stoke: "If you want to turn a girl on, find out the areas your girl does like being stroked. I love guys touching my neck, and I have such a thing about my head being massaged. I have a head massager as part of my sex toy drawer!"
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